The Chool Bus (ch37)

CHAPTER 37: Sweet home Alabama

The drive from Vicksburg to Mobile was uneventful, giving Billie ample time for quiet reflection. The plan was to visit the battleship USS Alabama and the submarine USS Drum before settling into a quiet Foley RV park near Columbia Southern University, with focus-group sessions scheduled at the Orange Beach campus. Buck was keeping the road-trip tunes eclectic and interesting. But as the Chool Bus crossed into “Sweet Home Alabama,” the selection pumping out of the speakers, Werewolves of London, had a familiar ring to it. Jack was in the back of the bus struggling with why that particular song and the Welcome to Alabama sign were connected. Out of the blue, Buck piped up, “Wasn’t that song challenged for copyright by Lynyrd Skynyrd… did they win the case? If so, wouldn’t that indicate an unfair advantage for Goliath over David? In other words, copyright cases determined by whose legal team can whoop whose?”

That reminded Jack of some of the motivations behind the Creative Commons movement. “Now, CC co-founder Lawrence Lessig didn’t say that explicitly, but i agree, Werewolves of London and Sweet Home Alabama sound nothing alike despite the fact they share a common chord progression.” It was still kinda fuzzy in Jack’s memory.

“There was no copyright case,” Professor T cut in. He remembered a dust-up over Kid Rock’s appropriating Sweet Home Alabama and Werewolves of London with a thing called All Summer Long, but that case was settled by Kid’s people… getting clearance from both Zevon’s and Skynyrd’s organizations.

“Now, Zevon did seem to address a feud between Neil Young and Skynyrd back in the ’70s,” said Professor T. “It was an unflattering song about some of the Deep South’s worst history, and Young’s song, Southern Man, painted the entire region with a broad racist brush. Play It All Night Long, i believe it was called.”

None of this penetrated Billie’s silent reverie behind the wheel. She was reliving the visit to the haunted McRaven House in Vicksburg. She always felt similar to that FBI character in the TV series, X-Files. Like agent Mulder, she really wanted to believe, but there were never any solid reasons to give in. Besides, she was surrounded by academics. The Pragmatic, mildly paranoid cyber-security specialist, Jack, and the media scholar, Professor T. To convince either one of them would require a cargo-ship load of objective, verifiable evidence and replicable proofs.

But… on the one hand, Billie knows humankind doesn’t understand universal forces completely. There may be several “theory of everything” frameworks bouncing around, but Billie knows these frameworks are no different than philosophy or religion at this point. Look at quantum entanglement: particles interacting across massive distances instantly, she thought. If science can prove something that inexplicable, why is it so hard to believe that human consciousness might exist outside the body, or that there are forces, spirits, or dimensions we can’t perceive yet?

But her inner skeptic is never far, and that brought her to remember something she picked up surfing the science corners of YouTube. Human brains are hardwired pattern-recognition machines. We see faces in the dark, we misremember details to fit the stories we tell ourselves, when we’re tired or stressed, sometimes we experience sleep paralysis or auditory hallucinations. Like Professor T often reminds students, “…anecdotes aren’t data. If supernatural phenomena were real, they would be repeatable under controlled, scientific conditions. Yet, every single time a psychic or a haunted house is subjected to rigorous, double-blind testing, the spooks vanish.”

Billie’s inner dialogue was heating up. Millions of people throughout history, across completely isolated cultures, have reported ghost encounters, premonitions, and near-death experiences. Are they all just lying or hallucinating? It feels incredibly arrogant to assume humanity has the universe entirely figured out… it doesn’t. I know Jack and Mork Thompson agree about that.

Again, science requires strict, repeatable conditions, and the supernatural, by its very definition, operates outside conventional physical laws. There are no proton packs or spook traps like in the Ghostbusters movies. You can’t just trap a soul or residual energy in a containment unit. And honestly, looking at the world through a purely materialistic lens feels cold and reductive. Believing in something greater… a mystery, an afterlife, a spiritual connection… gives life a sense of wonder and meaning. It gives people hope that death isn’t just a consciousness switch flipping off forever, she thought.

Finally, the voice of Billie’s beloved father piped up, like always, to settle the matter: “Finding comfort in an idea doesn’t make it true, Billie. Wishing for an afterlife or a cosmic connection is just a coping mechanism for fear of the unknown and our own mortality.” The last time she and her father visited this topic, he told her, “Accepting the material world as it is makes life more profound, because this one is all we’ve got. Relying on supernatural explanations actually stops us from looking for real answers. Throughout history, lightning, disease, and mental illness were all blamed on gods and demons until science found the actual causes. Magic is just the placeholder we use for things we haven’t explained yet.”

“Fine,” she whispered. And with that memory, Billie and the bus pulled into Mobile’s Battleship Parkway. Time for a walking tour of the USS Alabama and the submarine Drum.

NEXT WEEK:
Thanksgiving dinner with family in Savannah, Georgia.

GO BACK => Preface and Chapter Links

The Chool Bus (ch36)

CHAPTER 36: Ghost hunting in Vicksburg, Mississippi.

Now… Billie loves her road-dawg companions, her bandmates, but she doesn’t always go along with Jack and Professor T’s rigidly rational mindset. Case in point, she doesn’t automatically dismiss ghost stories swirling around in the cultural soup. When the gang was in Oregon and Jack’s nephew, Jason, was going on about local hauntings, Billie wanted to believe his story was legit, not just another hackneyed tale of wealthy landowners trying to scare people away from some environmental atrocity like those Scooby-Doo episodes. So as the Bus rolled into Vicksburg, Mississippi, Billie pitched a haunted house diversion. Her first idea was to visit Auburn, the Grand Mansion of Natchez, Antebellum home of Lyman Harding. But the advertised tour was way too expensive, and besides, Natchez is nearly two hours down the Mighty Mississip from Vicksburg, so the gang turned their attention to a more affordable spectral diversion at the McRaven House.

A waiter at the local Cracker Barrel pointed the Forks to McRaven because its ghostly reputation was featured on A&E and the Travel Channel. An authentic pre-Civil War home with a complete way-of-life tour and pioneer kitchen. National Geographic called it the “Time Capsule of the South” whose area gardens served as Confederate soldiers’ campsite/field hospital. Billie was eager to hear about the famous and infamous people of McRaven and why their spirits never seem to leave. 

But first, the business at hand: focus-group interviews at Hinds Community College.

“Are you just going to sit there?” Buck was arranging chairs in a circle for the session.

“Hey, i got us here safe and sound…you can do the grunt work.” Billie wasn’t going to let the aggression stand unanswered. She gave Buck the finger, and he gave her a flirtatious wink.

Jack was watching this exchange and began to suspect there was something brewing between his favorite drummer and the new guy. He wanted to warn against potential discord that could occur between the members of this close-quarters group. After all, Jack had seen how things can spiral out of control when girlfriends/boyfriends join bands on the road. In fact, the Forks’ standing rule was to prevent significant others from getting involved with the band’s business or even riding along with them. The Forks were proper ambassadors of the “church of rock and roll,” including strict adherence to the first rule…what happens on the road, stays on the road. Of course, that was the ‘90s for Billie, the ‘70s, ‘80s, and ‘90s for Jack and Professor T…old-hat now, and Jack wasn’t going to stand in the way of what seemed to be developing between Billie and Buck. Jack knew Billie’s story and he hoped this romance might actually turn out good for her.

“Has anyone seen my gloves?” Professor T was protective of his guitarist’s hands.

“Are you serious?” Jack was quick to remind his comrade of the band’s chosen genre. The fact that it amounts to a slightly updated version of 1970s punk…a gritty business at best. “What self-respecting Punk guitarist goes around wearing ‘wuss-pads’ for their street-fightin’ hands?”

“Hey! I’m a punk scholar…a new breed,” said Professor T with a wink. “I leave scrappin’ to the roadies. You can join the fray if you want, but if i’m gonna have to slap a bitch, i’m gonna do it with my gloves…ON!” 

Professor T did have to get mixed up with the shenanigans from time to time. There was that night where a groupie from Great Bend, Kansas, had a jealous boyfriend that traveled to one of the band’s gigs in Collier. He decided to sneak up on Mork Thompson during a break and grab him by the hair from behind. The future scholar impressed everyone in that roadhouse with a roundhouse kick that dislodged the jealous boyfriend’s hand. The two stood looking at each other for a tense moment, but the drunk’s friends pulled him away as it seemed fairly obvious they were outnumbered. Collier was a regular stop for the popular cover-band Mork was in at the time.

After the last encore, and while the roadies were tearing down, Mork stepped outside to catch a smoke and mingle with the crowd. He was surprised to see two rows of guys facing each other, and they all looked pretty tense as if there was some sort of nuclear détente. Mork looked on from a distance waiting for something to happen when a familiar face motioned him to join the lineup. Apparently, there was going to be a gang-rumble over the jealous boyfriend’s wish to beat Mork to a pulp, a move stymied by several local supporters lined up to defend him.

“Well, alrighty then,” Mork T said pulling his white load-out gloves on. “Let’s dance if we must,” he said while internally questioning his occasional after-gig carnal choices.

The rumble never got started because on Mork’s side was someone with a notorious reputation for putting folks stupid enough to get in a tangle with him in the hospital with grave injuries. And he was lined up directly across from the jealous boyfriend. Someone whispered in the jealous boyfriend’s ear, and that was that. The Great Bend crew decided the row wasn’t worth the expected outcome. They slinked off with their tails between their legs, and Mork was spared the trouble of potentially getting blood on his white load-out gloves.

Lighting a cigarette, Mork muttered to nobody in particular, “make friends with the biggest, meanest bad-asses in your social circle, and you’ll never have to get blood on your gloves.” Once the danger had passed, he joined the load-out effort, rolling cables.

Fast forward, back to Vicksburg, at the McRaven tour: Billie imagined a ghostly confab taking place on the astral plane. Of course, her travel mates were not on the same page. Billie imagined an inexplicable cold breeze but chose not to mention it in order to avoid the reliable shower of skepticism that would surely follow.

Billie constructed the scene in her imagination…a sudden, chilling giggle through the room. She imagined a spectral trickster, a little girl floating on a wisp of Spanish moss. She imagined a cackling sound like wind chimes in a graveyard. Then a chorus of ghostly laughter filling the McRaven House, echoing through the empty rooms. Of course, nobody heard it because it was all playing out in Billie’s fertile imagination. Besides, they were too engrossed in the tour guide’s monologue to notice Billie’s wide-eyed attention. In Billie’s imaginings, the trickster’s eyes were gleaming with mischievous delight, pulling on the drapes, flitting from chandelier to chandelier.

“What was that?” said Billie. “Who pulled on the curtains?” She was trolling for reactions. “Did anyone feel that?” Billie shivered as if recoiling from a sudden chill. She thought she saw Professor T twitch and wondered if he wasn’t silently haunted by the McRaven spirits as well.

He wasn’t… he was trying to remember where he might have stashed his white gloves. 

NEXT WEEK: Sweet home Alabama

GO BACK => Preface and Chapter Links

This Land – Mississippi

They say Mississippi is a great place to commune with ghosts, that Mississippians love a good story. And so, in honor of the great state of Mississippi, here’s a real doozy of a ghost story. Mostly inspired by a dream from our first restless night in here. For some reason, Ronnie awoke around 4:00am, probably from a limb scraping against the side of the van nudged by a gentle breeze (or something like that). Anyway, fragments of the dream are drastically embellished below… Enjoy!

The setting is a ghostly confab at a fabled haunted house, the McRaven House, in Vicksburg, Mississippi.

Attendees:
Sam Clemens
William Faulkner
Edger Poe
Margaret Mitchell
Ambrose Bierce
Kate Stone

The McRaven House, a skeletal silhouette against the bruised, twilight sky, pulsed with an unearthly chill. Inside, or rather, through the decaying grandeur of the parlor, a spectral congress convened. Skulking around the fringes of this gathering is the ghost of little Maggie, playing trickster pranks on the adults, generally bringing a sense of dark levity to the air.

We open with a tight shot on Mr. Clemons, a wisp of white mustache and sardonic grin, his cigarillo fuming. He’s leaning against the hearth, its phantom flames licking at the soot-stained bricks. “Well, gentlemen, gentleladies, and… whatever that is,” he gestured vaguely at a giggling, translucent figure flitting near the chandelier, “let’s get down to cases. How are our successors faring? Are any of them capable of spinning a yarn worth a damn?”

Mr. Faulkner, a cloud of tobacco-scented gloom, swirled into view. “Faring? They wallow, Sam. They wallow in the shallow pools of… of instant gratification. They cannot understand the… the weight of history, the… the tangled roots of the South. They write… tweets, truths, threads, blue butterflies. Shit postings! Hardly enough for Walt to call a ‘barbaric yawp,’ and this is supposed to encapsulate the human condition? Absurd.”

Edgar Poe, his eyes dark, hollow pits, floated near a dusty window. “They seek brevity, a fleeting spark of… of sensation. They have lost the exquisite agony of prolonged despair. They write of… of vampires with sparkling skin. My own horrors, once so profound, are now… romantic comedies.” He shuddered, a sound like a rustling death shroud.

Ms. Mitchell, her spectral Scarlett O’Hara flouncing slightly, adjusted a phantom shawl. “Darling, it’s simply dreadful. They’ve taken my beloved South, my tragic heroes, and… and they’ve made them into… into soap operas! They’ve diluted the very essence of suffering into… into sickly sweet drivel.”

Ambrose Bierce, his face a mask of cynical amusement, materialized near a broken mirror. “Irony, my dear Ms. Mitchell, is the universe’s most exquisite mistress. And it seems they have long since hung her in a cheap motel room. With the veritable parade of ironies cavalierly overlooked by average folks these days, one must imagine the poor girl spinning in her grave like a top. These mere mortals believe they have conquered death, disease, and ignorance. Hell, some of them actually believe their clever technologists have them on the verge of immortality! Absurd doesn’t even come close to describing their delusion.”

Ms. Stone, her translucent form radiating a quiet, melancholic strength, drifted near the window. “They have forgotten the true cost of war, the devastation it leaves in its wake. They romanticize conflict, turn it into… entertainment. They have no concept of the hunger, the loss, the sheer… futility. And now, they’re bringing those silly biblical prophecies into the picture… again. They can’t wait to launch a third global conflagration.”

A sudden, chilling giggle echoed through the room. Little Maggie, the spectral trickster, had replaced Faulkner’s pipe tobacco with a wisp of Spanish moss. He sputtered, the moss dissolving into thin air. “They also believe,” Maggie piped up, her voice a ghostly whisper, “that they can photograph ghosts with their… their ‘smartphones’. They take pictures of… of dust and claim it’s us.” She cackled, a sound like wind chimes in a graveyard.

Clemmons chuckled, a low, rumbling sound. “Indeed, child. They attempt to capture the intangible, the unseen, with their… their digital trinkets. They have become slaves to the very technology they believe liberates them. They spend their days staring at glowing rectangles, believing they are experiencing… life.”

Poe raised an eyebrow. “They believe the darkness can be banished with… with light. They illuminate every corner, every crevice, yet they remain blind to the true shadows that lurk within their own souls.”

Mitchell sighed dramatically. “And the fashion! Oh, the atrocities they call fashion! They wear… leggings as trousers leaving nearly nothing to the imagination! It’s simply… barbaric.”

Bierce, ever the cynic, added, “They have created a world of… of curated perfection. Every image, every interaction, filtered and polished to remove any trace of… of authenticity. They live in a world of lies, and they call it… social media.”

Maggie, now floating upside down near the ceiling, began to hum a discordant tune. “They think they can solve the world’s problems with… with the pound sign, they call it a ‘hashtag.’ They use it to pass around short photoplays like chain letters spreading like the plague, and say these picture shows can change the course of history.”

Faulkner, still slightly flustered by the moss incident, muttered, “They cannot grasp the… the cyclical nature of time. They repeat the same mistakes, generation after generation, oblivious to the… the echoes of the past.”

Clemons, leaning against a bookshelf, concluded, “In short, they are a collection of self-absorbed, technologically addicted, historically ignorant… fools. And they think we are the phantoms.”

A chorus of ghostly laughter filled the McRaven House, echoing through the empty rooms, a testament to the enduring irony of the mortal plane. Little Maggie, her eyes gleaming with mischievous delight, began to pull the spectral drapes from the windows, plunging the room into an even deeper, more unsettling darkness.

Onward through the fog… RH

In the town of Vicksburg…
In the house McRaven…
You may encounter…
Some ghostly maven…
And like the flow of…
The Mighty Mississip…
Everything that changes…
Stays the same.