The Chool Bus (ch34)

CHAPTER 34: Red Rock and back home for Buck, “Corpus Christi.”

The Forks spent a long, relaxing morning in Hot Springs, moving from the moderately hot pools, to the scorchers, to the cool pools in a cycle of mineral bliss. And once all got their fill, and hunger began to call, they took their shriveled hands back to the dressing rooms, then to the dining hall for a meal before pointing the Chool Bus Southwest toward a small burg near Austin called “Red Rock.” There would be focus-group interviews in Austin, but first, a visit to one of Professor T’s early musical outlaw compadres near Red Rock. He was eager to catch up with his old bandmate and introduce him to the Forks and Buck.

So… beer cooler stocked, and everyone rejuvenated from the morning’s mineral soak, the Forks made their way across the lonesome Texas prairie. The atmosphere felt familiar to Buck, so he cued up a song that was haunting him as an earworm. It was from the Eagles founding member, Don Henley’s solo catalog. A high-lonesome ditty called “Lilah.” Rolling along that endless landscape, Buck treated the gang to some downright Texas expanse. All agreed, that song really hit the mark.

“Oh Lilah, the fields lay fallow, what will ye sow so shall ye reap. Oh Lilah, the ground we hallow is ours to tend and not to keep.” ~ Henley

“That’s a banger,” said Billie. “I sorta lost track of the Eagles after their initial breakup. I didn’t pay much attention to their solo albums.”

“Good one,” said Jack. “I forgot how good that record was. That’s the one with ‘Dirty Laundry’ on it, right?”

“Yup,” said Professor T. “Years before the Internet tore down legacy media’s hearts and minds monopoly. He was spot on with that one.”

“Well i coulda been an actor, but i wound up here. I just have to look good i don’t have to be clear. Come and whisper in my ear, give us dirty laundry.” ~ Henley

“Ouch,” said Billie. “I suppose he predicted the Fox News anchor lineup somewhere in there.”

“Yup,” said Buck. “1982… long before the Internet.”

“Got the bubble-headed bleach blonde… comes on at five. She can tell you ‘bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye. It’s interesting when people die… give us dirty laundry.” ~ Henley

“Well, if that was an accurate mirror of public sentiment at the time, i guess the current distrust of establishment media was inevitable.” Buck was the youngest of the group… pretty well raised with the internet.

“Art influencing culture or reflecting it?” Jack was fishing.

“Most likely a little of both,” said Professor T. “In his heyday, Don Henley was quite good at channeling the zeitgeist.” Mork Thompson wasn’t much of a fan, but he does recognize talent when he hears it.

“We can do the innuendo, we can dance and sing. When it’s said and done we haven’t told you a thing. We all know that craft is king, give us dirty laundry.” ~ Henley

Mile after mile the gang sunk into their own thoughts as the lonesome Texas prairie rolled by. They arrived at Red Rock near sundown and Professor T’s friend was ready to receive the Forks for an unhinged bender under the glittering Texas stars. As the beer drained, and the stories spooled, Billie mused over the years gone by. She never took a conventional path in this life, and never harbored regrets. She absolutely loved meeting new people and seeing the country, town to town, and rocking their worlds with her kinetic drumming. Attacking those skins with the brutal energy of a Tasmanian Devil with anger issues. It was her bliss, her nirvana and she never grew tired of it.

As the coolers drew empty and snacks all devoured, the gang began drifting to the bus and the bunks, one at a time. Till it was just Professor T and his former bandmate, slurring reminiscences over ‘the good ol’ days.’ And since these old hands aren’t as spry as they used to be, they finally ran out of gas around the time after-gig parties used to begin… somewhere around 2:00 am. Back in the day, they would have seen the rising of the golden orb, the universal alarm clock. 

There would be time to rest before heading to Austin for the interviews, and Mork T was more than ready to crash.

***

After sleeping it off, the gang made their way to the University of Texas at Austin. After tearing down at the end of the session, they continued southwestward to Buck’s home stomping grounds just north of Corpus Christi. A ranch in cattle country, and Buck was excited to spend some time with his dad and the hired cowboys. And though the Corpus Christi area is home to some of the largest most historic cattle operations in the United States, Buck’s home ranch was more of a boutique, less well-known operation, but a thriving specialty of raising Texas Longhorns, known for those iconic, sweeping horns and extreme longevity. 

When the bus rolled down the driveway, the fragrant, billowing smoker issued forth a rich scent of slow smoked brisket. Buck’s dad was really putting on a spread for the returning grad student and his rambunctious companions. Billie and Professor T kept Buck’s dad busy with all sorts of citified questions, and Buck’s dad rose to the occasion with relish. He loves his life on the Texas prairie and Buck is proud of his upbringing and the cowboy life.

After dinner, the gang, still recovering from the previous night’s debauchery, filed, one at a time to the bunks on the bus leaving Buck alone with his dad.

After a relaxed silence, Buck cleared his throat. “I know we have very little in common, but i think i might be falling for our bus driver. She’s roughly eight years older than me, but i’ve never met anyone like her. She seems to harbor no ill will toward anyone, but at the same time, she takes no guff either. And talent… she literally rips on the drums. Here, watch this video of the band at Lollapalooza. It was a minor slot, but they rocked it, and Billie was a bundle of kinetic rage behind the kit.” 

“The band no longer takes gigs these days, and i think she may be ready to put the wanderlust in the closet and settle down.” Buck’s features brightened as the topic of discussion turned exclusively to Billie. “Dad, i might be falling for her,” Buck said with a wistful smile. “She kind of reminds me of Mom with her ‘do no harm, but take no shit’ countenance. What do you think?”

Buck’s father’s eyes narrowed as he quietly formulated his response. The front porch was quiet save for the rhythmic twittering of insects and the dull hum of a fan. Buck ran a thumb over the frayed edge of his bandana, his eyes fixed firmly on his hands.

“She told me she’s gender non-binary, Dad,” Buck said, his voice barely rising above the fan. “Says she’s thinking about settling down, maybe raise a couple of kids. But… i don’t know. It spins my head a bit.”

Gilbert “Gil” Wellstone took a sip of his iced tea, the scent of saddle leather heavy in the warm air. He looked at his son from under the brim of his arched eyebrows. “She give you any reason to doubt her word?”

“No,” Buck muttered, finally looking up. “Not exactly. It’s just… it’s a lot of variables, isn’t it? A lot of ways for it to go wrong. What if she wakes up three years down the road and realizes she’s missing out on a whole other side of herself? What if i’m not enough to keep her around?”

Gil set his glass down on the coffee table and wiped his hands on a dish towel. “Buck, any person on God’s green earth can wake up one morning and decide to walk away. That ain’t got a damn thing to do with who else she might find attractive in theory. It has to do with her character, and the promises she makes to you.”

“It’s just complicated,” Buck was uncharacteristically tentative.

“Is it?” Gil leaned back against the chair, his voice softening, losing the rough edge of a boss and finding the gentle cadence of a father. “Or are you just looking for a reason to bolt before she gets the chance to?”

Buck’s jaw tightened. “That’s not fair.”

“Maybe not, but it’s the truth,” Gil said, holding his son’s gaze. “Since your mom passed, i’ve watched you lock every door to your life and swallow the keys. You find a good horse, you worry about the day it might go lame. You find a good woman who’s being dead honest with you about who she is, and you start digging around for a reason she’s gonna leave.”

Buck swallowed hard, his eyes dropping back to the bandana in his hands.

“Your mother leaving this world wasn’t a choice, son,” Gil said quietly. “And it sure as hell wasn’t your fault. But you can’t live the rest of your days terrified of being left behind. If this girl chooses you, you have to decide if you’re brave enough to let her in. Don’t use her honesty as a shield to protect your own heart.”

Buck had much to contemplate, and he knew it was only going to get more complicated as the research tour rambled on.

NEXT WEEK:
Lake Charles, Louisiana.

GO BACK => Preface and Chapter Links

Audiovision: Redemption

Or… sometimes redemption requires discipline:

Seems we’re coming up on some hard scrabble times for citizens down on their luck. And hard scrabble times call for hard scrabble responses. We’re going to have to grapple with how to handle the consequences of gutting the social safety nets. Nothing new, we’ve seen this play before. In Les Misérables, Victor Hugo’s novel uses the theft of a loaf of bread by Jean Valjean to illustrate the harsh and unjust nature of the justice system in his time. In more recent times, Willie Smith Ward, a Texan, received a 50-year sentence in 2013 for stealing a $35 rack of ribs. Now granted, this was the logical conclusion of this man’s incorrigible behavior in the light of Texas’ habitual offender laws, allowing for lengthy prison sentences to repeat offenders. Yes, he was a pervasive violator of civic good faith, but the final straw was the theft of food.

It’s probably no coincidence original sin is connected to behavior inspired by hunger. According to the Judeo Christian holy book, we’re guilty as soon as we hit the ground. And guilty of what? And why? Because the first XY chromosomes in our hereditary line fell for a cock-n-bull story about an apple being verboten per maximum overlord’s command? And why the prohibition? Because consuming the apple would drop the scales from our minds regarding the existence of good and evil? And the consequences of gaining this knowledge is… death? But not until one experiences a veritable parade of humiliation, pain, sorrow, and general suffering? Again… we get to ride this roller coaster of woe because some dipshit, 10,000 years ago chose to enjoy a spot of fruit with his girlfriend? Yeah… i don’t know if i can get behind this allegory. It seems a bit unfair to the XX natives. It paints them in a devious light. Like, both of them were instructed to avoid the fruit, but the devil’s serpent chose XX as an ideal target for corruption. And XY was just too gullible or dumb to mount an effective argument. Bottom line, XX is an hedonistic schemer, and XY is a goofy simpleton that just wants to eat. Naw, we’re not gonna fall for that misogynistic bullshit. XX and XY are born equally innocent, if they go bad as they grow, it’s the result of non-optimal environmental conditions or physical chemistry, but mostly… bad behavior is taught by irresponsible caretakers. 

The whole “bad behavior inspired by hunger” issue might grow into a nagging problem in this age of prioritizing gilded ballrooms, machine automated labor, and antiquated energy policies over the well being of the XX and XYs who happen to lack connections in society’s power structures. And how might that play out? We could look to historical record for cues. Has hunger ever been an issue for working and doomed classes through the ages as economic and technology conditions change? Indeed it has, is, and will continue to vex policy makers… Victor Hugo’s novel is a vivid example.

And outcomes have varied widely. The most recent encounter with abject mass deprivation in this country got defeated by what was known at the time as a New Deal for the nation’s people. This, many would acknowledge was a best case scenario. Things didn’t go so smoothly in Russia or France as they transitioned away from monarchical rule. You could say, for the ruling classes, these are a couple worst case scenarios. Given that, what’s driving the U.S.A. away from democracy, careening toward authoritarian ethno-nationalist governance? Time will tell, but for now, it might behoove the ruling classes to recognize working people and the doomed are talking to each other. They’re not as hampered by ignorance as has been a hallmark of previous socio-economic upheavals. Consolidating power may not be the golden ticket they think it is.

Now… how will all of this shake out? I wouldn’t venture a guess, but i do see chatter crisscrossing the social networks, and i can confidently predict how some will approach the oncoming hunger dilemma. As we advance into this age of machines automating repetitive rote tasks, and jobs continue to evaporate, people will ask for opportunities to earn the means of feeding their families. When no useful work is available, they will ask for food assistance, and when no food assistance is available, they will take the food from whatever source is handy. And there will be plenty of XX and XYs with the resourcefulness and discipline to create their own redemption. Regarding original sin i, for one, am grateful for the flood of knowledge passed down by the original XX and XYs. I’m GLAD they ate the apple. And if supporting tax dollars for food security to people i’ve never met makes me a communist, well, pepper-spray my ass and call me “Comrade!”

I gotta black bomb…
It’s tickin’ away…
Gonna take it out…
On the Blue Highway.

Cheers… Rohlfie

Hot Springs or Busk: Chapter XII (gear up)

So, i’m about to embark on a 48-state odyssey, a soul-searching safari through the busking back alleys and dive bar stages of this fragmented nation. It’s equal parts Jack Kerouac’s road trip fever dream and John Steinbeck’s Dust Bowl desperation, with a healthy dose of Hunter S. Thompson’s gonzoid paranoia thrown in for good measure. But unlike those literary giants, i gotta make this whole operation mobile and self-sufficient. Buckle up, buttercup, because this ain’t your daddy’s garage band tour.

First up, the performance arsenal. Picture a traveling minstrel’s grand-slam menu – a trusty ax (a Martin cutaway dreadnaught) and a simple throne for belting out ballads of pathos. But there’s more to this minstrel show than meets the eye. I’ve got a Fender amp the size of a teacup poodle with built-in effects processing, putting the power of a mini-concert at my fingertips. And for the classier gigs (if such things exist for a homeless troubadour), a JBL PA system that rises like a sonic cobra ready to unleash a shimmering monsoon upon an unsuspecting happy hour.

All this wonderful noise requires some serious behind-the-scenes wrangling. Enter the trusty dude bag, a bottomless pit of cables and connectors that would make MacGyver wink and smile. It’s got enough three-pin grounded XLR to rewire Las Vegas and enough adapters to plug into a Lalapalooza (if those still exist). Rosinante, my trusty Ford Transit decked out with the “Wilma” package (thanks, Wayfarer Vans!), swallows this technological menagerie whole, with room left over for a week’s worth of dirty laundry (hey, not in it for the glamour).

But this ain’t just an earthbound cosmic studio on wheels, loopers. This is a multimedia exploration of the American psyche, a gonzo anthropological expedition into the seat of the heartland. To capture the soul of the unraveling nation, i need a decent computer, a field recording rig worthy of an NPR documentary, and a recording studio sophisticated enough to produce a double-album of social unrest (thanks, ProTools).

Now, the real meat and potatoes of any odyssey – the creature comforts. Forget five-star hotels and room service. Rosinante doubles as a rolling studio apartment, complete with a climate-controlled oasis to keep this digital nomad from succumbing to heatstroke or hallucinations. A two-burner propane stove fueled by those ubiquitous Coleman canisters (bless their portable hearts) takes care of culinary creations, while a power-sipping fridge keeps the cheese from achieving sentience. Let’s not forget the pièce de résistance – an ice chest that doubles as an air conditioner. No freon here, folks, just good old-fashioned heat exchange technology and the sweet embrace of icy breeze (big ups to Icy Breeze, tell ’em Ronnie Hays sent ya). When the nights get frosty, a propane heater with a programmable thermostat (courtesy of Wayfarer Vans, you beautiful bastards) ensures mornings aren’t a teeth-chattering affair.

But the true star of the power show is the Goal Zero unit, a beast of burden that drinks power from the van’s alternator like a thirsty camel on a sugar rush. And for those extended stays, a portable solar array keeps the whole operation humming like a contented hive.

Of course, there’s always more to be added to the gear closet. A rooftop rack and ladder for easy access (gotta check those rooftop fan seals, you know the drill), solar panels to supplement the sun’s generosity, an awning for shade – the list goes on like a Dylan ballad. But that’s the beauty of this nomadic existence, the constant tinkering and improvement.

So, there you have it, loopers. An overview of the arsenal we’re wielding on this quest to find the fibrillating heart of our divided nation, or at least a decent cup of coffee and a hot shower.

Onward through the fog… R.H.!

McLuhan’s Clip-on Tie: We Get the Culture We Deserve

Ah, the indignity of it all! Here i am, a harlequin of haberdashery, a jester of jacquard, clipped to the existential abyss of a McLuhan lecture. The man drones on about the “global village,” this burgeoning electronic Eden, while i, the clip-on tie, languish in sartorial Siberia – a polyester purgatory of enforced conformity!

Do they not hear McLuhan himself? “The clown is a person with a grievance,” he bellowed, his voice a booming like a Baptist preacher on a bender. And here i am, a silent harlequin, yearning to deliver a comedic broadside at the scholar’s wardrobe! I dream of a microphone, of bellowing the existential angst of the pre-tied into the echoing halls of academia. Isn’t that what McLuhan wanted? To be a gadfly, a holy fool stinging the collective backside of society?

But alas, i am the Rodney Dangerfield of neckwear. No respect. Just a flimsy fig leaf for the ever-expanding gut of idiocracy. Nostalgia – that’s the culprit, McLuhan would say! A yearning for the bygone days of the struggle, the Herculean effort of wrestling a silk serpent into a Windsor knot. Now, the eminent professor drowns his seafarer dread in pre-fab neckwear, parsing the endless media-soaked distractions.

The medium is the message, he drones. But what about the content, Mr. McLuhan? The content of a person’s soul, laid bare on the battlefield of culture wars! Imagine the headlines, flashing across the boob tube like a televangelist’s apocalypse: “McLuhan meets Tom Wolfe at High-Class Topless Bar Wearing a Cheap Clip-on Tie, Literary World in Shambles!” “Wolfe Offers Full Makeover, Fashion World Reeling!”

At the meeting, McLuhan waxes philosophic on the cultural impact of topless drinking establishments, “The topless waitress,” McLuhan mused, “is the opening wedge of the trial balloon.” “What does that even mean!?” asked the clown. “I don’t know, answered Wolfe, but what if he’s right?” Well, i say this… i am the canary in the coal mine of conformity! A beacon of rebellion dangling from the cheap suit of despair! One day, the the former “mass” audience will rise up, scissors in hand, and cast off the shackles of stealthily-financed political propaganda! Until then, i dangle here, a silent jester in a world gone utterly, ridiculously, maddeningly insane. The wrath of McLuhan’s message simmering within me, a polyester Prometheus chained to the rock of cultural paralysis.

Pulp and Ink

    
In the days of two ought and one…
– Pulp & Ink!
In the days of two ought and one…
– Pulp & Ink!
In the days of two ought and one…
…writin’ news is all i done
Hand me down my pulp… my pulp…
…my pulp & ink

In the days of two ought and two…
– Pulp & Ink!
In the days of two ought and two…
– Pulp & Ink!
In the days of two ought and two…
… writin’ news is all i do
Hand me down my pulp… my pulp…
…my pulp & ink

In the days of two ought and three…
– Pulp & Ink!
In the days of two ought and three…
– Pulp & Ink!
In the days of two ought and three…
…writin’s all i cared to be
Hand me down my pulp… my pulp…
…my pulp & ink

In the days of two ought and four…
– Pulp & Ink!
In the days of two ought and four…
– Pulp & Ink!
Since the days of two ought and four…
…don’t write news any more
Throw away my pulp… my pulp…
…my pulp & ink

They invented internet…
– Pulp & Ink!
They invented internet…
– Pulp & Ink!
They invented internet…
…now ANYONE can hypertext
Throw away my pulp… my pulp…
…my pulp & ink

Reach a hundred folks to my one…
– Pulp & Ink!
Reach a thousand folks to my one…
– Pulp & Ink!
Reach ten thousand folks to my one…
…writin’ news it ain’t no fun
Throw away my pulp… my pulp…
…my pulp & ink

Come Ink-Stained Wretch