Wayfarer Vans

This Land: Indiana

Ok… for Ronnie, Indiana is a couple things on the surface, 1.) it’s home base to one of his favorite authors, Papa Kurt Vonnegut, and 2.) the Indy 500 auto race. Now, these things might date Mr. Ronnie. After all, he can’t remember the last time the Indy 500 was headline news. This may have more to do with the fact that he cut the cord all the way back to y2k, so chances of him stumbling into a cable channel covering the race have been slim to none now going on 25 years. And though Mr. Vonnegut has been gone since 2007, his work is still quite popular with readers around the world… so there’s that.

Now, with all of that said, you would think Ronnie would make a point to visit Mr. Vonnegut’s hometown, Indianapolis, while in the Hoosier state. Alas, he’s still tethered to the technical details of outfitting Rocinante. Case in point, rooftop solar installs are now available at Wayfarer central, and Rocinate has a September 9 appointment… all the way back to Colorado Springs. So, the tentative itinerary is finish the Indiana post in Fort Wayne, head to Cleveland for the Ohio post, then Chicago for Illinois, then back to Hays to catch up on snail mail and Rocinante’s tag renewal, then back to the Springs for the solar install. Form there, it’ll be Hot Springs or Busk, Phase III. By then, we’ll be 17 states into the mission with all of the South and Sun Belt states saved for late fall and winter and nearly eight months to get the balance done.

So… back to Indiana, a state of contradictions. Its people are both fiercely independent and deeply rooted in tradition. They are known for their hospitality, but their conversations tend to revolve around the weather, sports, and the price of corn. There is a certain charm to this simplicity, a refreshing honesty in the lack of pretense. Yet, some would say also a stifling provincialism, a fear of the unknown that limits horizons.

The state boasts a few cultural gems, of course. The Booth Tarkington Civic Theatre, a grand old dame of a building, stands as a testament to a bygone era. And the Eugene V. Debs Foundation keeps alive the memory of a radical socialist labor leader. And let’s not forget Papa Kurt Vonnegut… cos Ronnie won’t.

Indiana… a place where time seems to stand still. The past is revered, the future feared. There is a resistance to change, a stubborn clinging to the familiar. It is a state that is both comforting and claustrophobic, a place where one can find solace and despair in equal measure.

Indiana… a state where the weather is as bipolar as a teenage girl, where the summers are a sweaty, humid hell and the winters are an icy embrace of despair. And Highland… our first stop here, is a place where the asphalt stretches on forever, a barren wasteland punctuated by the occasional strip mall hellscape. Ronnie, in a state of frustration, described it as a “abject cluster-boink ” of suburban sprawl, muttering darkly about the need for a good old-fashioned public flogging for the traffic planners. He envisioned a spectacle, a puritan circus of shame, where the engineers of this urban blight would be flogged with pool noodles, their misdeeds projected onto a giant screen for all to see.

Highland, IN Drone’s Eye View

Perhaps Ronnie needs to cut back on the coffee… 😉

Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to brave the Indy streets among all the Mario Andretti wannabes on our bumper, looking for the nearest Chipotle for a lunchtime burrito.

From Michigan City…
To Ohio Wabash…
Indiana… rolls like a slapdash…
But bring your high hand…
When you drive in Highland…
Everybody here’s an Indy flash.

Onward through the fog… R.H.

This Land: Idaho

The Great “Hot Springs or Busk” Tour Rolls Back Downhill (Dispatch from Pocatello, Idaho):
So, like a clown car perpetually overflowing with misfortune, here we are again, loopers. Remember that meticulously crafted itinerary, the one that promised a triumphant northward march to the Canadian border? Yeah, about that. Turns out, fate – that sadistic ringmaster with a penchant for rusty hubcaps – had other plans. Rocinante, our trusty (usually) mount, coughed up a lung full of power-pack trouble, forcing a U-turn south towards Wayfarer Central in Colorado Springs. Parts, bless their slow-moseyin’ selves, would not arrive for a fortnight, so we chose to spend the downtime at homebase, Hays, KS where we could also get Rocinante’s windshield replaced and a running board added.

But hey, a scenic detour is a scenic detour, right? We shivered through a one-night stand in Bismarck after a stunning sunset stretch through South and North Dakota’s rolling countryside. Then Billings Montana offered a brief respite before hightailing it through Bozeman, then Cody Wyoming. Cody, bless its remote tourist-trap hide, is where we met up with some excellent friends who steered us towards Thermopolis – a haven of hot springs so numerous they’d make Bacchus proud.

Then, Idaho Falls, a land in need of some highway adopters, became our next pitstop. After that, Pocatello, where we nestled in the bosom of a decent public library contemplating the next leg – Salt Lake City, a place that holds… hmmm… let’s just say Ronnie Hays has some “post-9/11 baggage” with SLC (stay tuned for the glorious details).

But the real star of this show, loopers, was the stretch between Cody, WY and Idaho Falls. Yellowstone National Park, in all its technicolor glory, unfolded before our bleary eyes. Mountains that scraped the underbelly of heaven, meadows bursting with wildflowers, switchbacks that would make a pretzel shout in pain. Mammoth Hot Springs, a geological freak show that would make P.T. Barnum envious. And the wildlife, oh the wildlife! Foxes with mischievous glints in their eyes, Elk foraging with enormous racks, bison as big and grumpy as your grunting uncle Melvin, and bears – enough bears to staff a Russian circus. The only downside? No dang AT&T service. Talk about being stranded in the technological dark ages!

Speaking of stranded, it was right here, in the middle of Mother Nature’s art gallery, that Rocinante decided to shed a hubcap like a bad habit. Thousands of miles under our belts, and this is when she decides to play Hide the hubcap? Believe you me, loopers, we were sweating harder than a sinner in church. But fear not! Rocinante, bless her engine that could, soldiered on through the park, hubcap-less but unbowed.

So, Idaho, the state with the motto that sounds like a drunken Latin scholar’s mumbling (Esto Perpetua, for the curious). Rough translation, “It shall be perpetual”. And what have we learned? Well, for starters, hot springs are a national treasure here. And speaking of Hot Springs, Idaho covers the gamut, from redneck mud baths to swanky spas… a soak for every soul. And though the higher-ed scene may not be ivy, these universities offer a decent education without the heart attack-inducing price tag. And who knew Idaho was such a literary hotspot? Shakespeare under the stars, Hemingway’s ghost haunting cafes – it’s enough to make a bibliophile sue for custody.

The Idahoan Identity? Self-reliant, community-driven, with a healthy dose of fresh air and a side of “get off my lawn” thrown in for good measure. And nature’s playground? Yup! From the Sawtooth Mountains that could pierce the heavens to Yellowstone’s geothermal freak-out, Idaho’s got scenery that’ll knock your socks off (assuming you’re wearing any). And they have grown some famous loopers, from Aaron Paul (aka “Yo! Mr. White… Science!”), Papa Hemingway himself, and the silver screen siren Lana Turner. Not a bad lineup, eh?

The Bread and Butter, agriculture, tourism, and the service industry keep Idaho humming along. Relatively affordable housing, decent wages – what’s not to love? Plus, there’s always a mountain to climb or a river to raft, so you won’t get bored.

A land of contradictions. A double-edged sword. There’s a fierce sense of community, a rugged self-reliance, and a love for the great outdoors that would make John Muir weep with joy. On the other hand, there’s a whiff of insularity, a resistance to change that’s about as flexible as a petrified log, and pockets of militant social conservatism that could curdle milk at fifty paces.

But hey, that’s the beauty of this crazy mixed-up country, right? From the boiling cauldrons of Yellowstone to the necessary return to Wayfarer Central, it’s a never-ending carnival of delights and disasters. Stay tuned for the next thrilling installment of Rocinante’s hubcap shedding saga!

Onward through the fog… R.H.

And now… another apology to Woody:

For fields of tubers…
And chaos preppers…
Idaho… spicy as a pepper…
You got your Shakespeare…
Pound and Hemmingway…
Esto … it will be … Perpetua!

Hot Springs or Busk: Chapter XVI (back on the road)

So… just as things start heating up here in the land of Oz, Rocinante’s lucky stars begin to align. Yesterday the windshield repair was completed and as soon as we pulled away from the repair shop, a FedEx email dropped letting us know the power-link recall parts were enroute to Colorado Springs. All that’s left is scheduling an appointment with the local electrician to complete the install, and we’re back in the saddle, ready to resume the 48-state tour.

Next stop… either Oregon or Minnesota, whichever direction will keep us out of Satan’s armpit. These triple-digit temps are for. the. birds. This was the original aim… to stay away from extreme weather. Here’s an example of a travel route that accomplishes that aim.

So far, this summer has defied conventional wisdom, and as luck would have it, we’ve been in a perfect place this last couple weeks. It has been… glorious. 80s in the day, 60s at night. I’m almost reluctant to get underway, but forecast calls for upper 90s, so i guess it is time to go.

I’m starting to grow accustomed to the slower pace here at home port. I’ve been able to set aside large blocks of time for the kind of guitar practice i should have gotten out of the way as a juvenile delinquent… lol. Oh well, Ronnie Hays always says, “sometimes redemption requires discipline.” Happy to put in the time when i have it, but i fear, once back on the road, there’ll only be time for travel, scoping out viable boondocking sites, personal hygiene and provisions, research and writing This Land posts, sleep, and that’s about it. We’ll see, but that’s kinda how it all rolled before we got hit with repair needs.

Anyway, we’ll probably just head North once Rocinante’s power link is repaired. We’ll decide which direction to choose from there. Washington, Oregon, or Minnesota… we shall see.

In the meantime, please enjoy this little ditty…

Onward through the fog… R.H.

Hot Springs or Busk: Chapter XII (gear up)

So, i’m about to embark on a 48-state odyssey, a soul-searching safari through the busking back alleys and dive bar stages of this fragmented nation. It’s equal parts Jack Kerouac’s road trip fever dream and John Steinbeck’s Dust Bowl desperation, with a healthy dose of Hunter S. Thompson’s gonzoid paranoia thrown in for good measure. But unlike those literary giants, i gotta make this whole operation mobile and self-sufficient. Buckle up, buttercup, because this ain’t your daddy’s garage band tour.

First up, the performance arsenal. Picture a traveling minstrel’s grand-slam menu – a trusty ax (a Martin cutaway dreadnaught) and a simple throne for belting out ballads of pathos. But there’s more to this minstrel show than meets the eye. I’ve got a Fender amp the size of a teacup poodle with built-in effects processing, putting the power of a mini-concert at my fingertips. And for the classier gigs (if such things exist for a homeless troubadour), a JBL PA system that rises like a sonic cobra ready to unleash a shimmering monsoon upon an unsuspecting happy hour.

All this wonderful noise requires some serious behind-the-scenes wrangling. Enter the trusty dude bag, a bottomless pit of cables and connectors that would make MacGyver wink and smile. It’s got enough three-pin grounded XLR to rewire Las Vegas and enough adapters to plug into a Lalapalooza (if those still exist). Rosinante, my trusty Ford Transit decked out with the “Wilma” package (thanks, Wayfarer Vans!), swallows this technological menagerie whole, with room left over for a week’s worth of dirty laundry (hey, not in it for the glamour).

But this ain’t just an earthbound cosmic studio on wheels, loopers. This is a multimedia exploration of the American psyche, a gonzo anthropological expedition into the seat of the heartland. To capture the soul of the unraveling nation, i need a decent computer, a field recording rig worthy of an NPR documentary, and a recording studio sophisticated enough to produce a double-album of social unrest (thanks, ProTools).

Now, the real meat and potatoes of any odyssey – the creature comforts. Forget five-star hotels and room service. Rosinante doubles as a rolling studio apartment, complete with a climate-controlled oasis to keep this digital nomad from succumbing to heatstroke or hallucinations. A two-burner propane stove fueled by those ubiquitous Coleman canisters (bless their portable hearts) takes care of culinary creations, while a power-sipping fridge keeps the cheese from achieving sentience. Let’s not forget the pièce de résistance – an ice chest that doubles as an air conditioner. No freon here, folks, just good old-fashioned heat exchange technology and the sweet embrace of icy breeze (big ups to Icy Breeze, tell ’em Ronnie Hays sent ya). When the nights get frosty, a propane heater with a programmable thermostat (courtesy of Wayfarer Vans, you beautiful bastards) ensures mornings aren’t a teeth-chattering affair.

But the true star of the power show is the Goal Zero unit, a beast of burden that drinks power from the van’s alternator like a thirsty camel on a sugar rush. And for those extended stays, a portable solar array keeps the whole operation humming like a contented hive.

Of course, there’s always more to be added to the gear closet. A rooftop rack and ladder for easy access (gotta check those rooftop fan seals, you know the drill), solar panels to supplement the sun’s generosity, an awning for shade – the list goes on like a Dylan ballad. But that’s the beauty of this nomadic existence, the constant tinkering and improvement.

So, there you have it, loopers. An overview of the arsenal we’re wielding on this quest to find the fibrillating heart of our divided nation, or at least a decent cup of coffee and a hot shower.

Onward through the fog… R.H.!