sea to shining sea

The Chool Bus (ch02)

Chapter 2: Billie Schmidt and the “Chool Bus”

Billie picked up her phone and opened the email around 3:00am. Normally fast asleep this time of night, but for some reason her eyes popped open automatically. She knew Professor Thompson had applied for a grant to conduct a year-long series of road trips aimed at visiting every one of the lower 48 states, meeting and interviewing people about their awareness and relative engagement with popular culture and politics. Billie really wasn’t all that interested in the details, but she knew she was on the list of companions and was looking forward to going on this coast-to-coast tour with her friends on the bus she had lovingly spent the last several months customizing. Inspecting all points of potential failure, preparing for brutal miles over scorching hot pavement, vicious cross winds and punishing steep mountain grades. She was more than up for the challenge. And now, so was the vehicle the gang had christened, the “Chool Bus”.

The Chool Bus was a solid rolling apartment, designed to accommodate four people comfortably with kitchenette and full restroom facilities in back. Now, bedding in the Chool Bus resembled that of bunks in a submarine. A little tight, but each pod had privacy curtains, reading lights, and the kind of high-tech mattress that delivers real comfort with a small footprint. Billie was a tomboy through and through, but she was in possession of impeccable taste and the Chool Bus interior reflected that taste in spades. The floor, ceiling, and side panels were covered in cedar paneling with plenty of wool insulation for holding in the heat on cold days or the cool air conditioning for the dawg days. Cabinetry finished with ebony composite material, light weight, but strong and resilient, ready for the many thousands of miles their journey would take them.

She gazed across the shop floor at her father, the owner/operator of a used car dealership where she worked. “Hey, Dad, can you help me with this belt install,” called Billie?

“Sure, Pumpkin,” said Billie’s father.

“Please… don’t call me that. I’m not a little girl, anymore, in fact, i’m not a girl at all… call me ‘Bruno’, cause i’m one badass bitch of a Chool Bus mechanic.”

“Ok, Bruno,” her father was all smiles. He really loved this little firecracker of a human being. She was by all conventional western standards, strikingly beautiful, statuesque, radiant skin, smiling eyes and a spunky countenance that variably beamed with mischievous energy. Precocious as a child, musically inclined and mechanically adept. In younger years, she played the drums in Professor Thompson’s grunge metal band, but was glad to leave that lifestyle behind as MTV had grown less and less inclined to play music, and more inclined to those barely “reality” shows. She had other reasons as well, as someone with unconventional gender inclinations, she grew tired of the drunken advances of guys who mistook her conventional beauty and good natured mischievousness for invitations to amore. “Good lord,” she would often exclaim. “Is this all guys ever think about?” 

Billie adjusted to her gender contradictions early on. She had to mature even faster than her female classmates as it’s not easy being this kind of different. But her parents, being rainbow hippies from way back, refused to hard-sell gender roles so she was able to reach adulthood relatively well adjusted. 

She had been anxiously waiting to hear from Professor Thompson about the grant. Would they be off on their first sojourn after graduation, or back to the normal routine working in her dad’s auto repair shop? The application had been submitted all the way back in January, and Billie had been frantically mapping out routes for favorable weather. She was driving Professor Thompson crazy with endless questions about who he wanted to interview and could they plan the route for not only meeting the interviewees where they live but also hitting some of the best destinations for sightseeing. Making bucket-list suggestions, leaning in, barely able to think of anything else.  

Professor Thompson had always loved this endless spring of nervous energy. He was aware of her personal challenges, she was mildly introverted and deeply empathetic, never brooding or sinking into depression funks. She always came alive around her friends, fiercely protective, she could be a bit of a hot-head. Many a time when folks mistook her fair appearance for being a push-over, they quickly learned, Billie could peel paint from the walls with her sharp tongue and buccaneer’s vocabulary. So now, when Billie opened that email to see that the grant had been approved, she nearly woke the neighbors with her whoops of celebration. “Game on…! WOO HOO,” she exclaimed! The gang and the Chool Bus were going on tour, sea to shining sea!

NEXT WEEK:
Chapter 3: Jack Dean makes paranoia a viable career path

GO BACK => (Preface & Chapter links)

The Chool Bus (ch01)

Chapter 1: Professor Thompson’s Roadtrip Sabbatical

The rhythmic cha-click of his office door felt somehow symbolic as Professor Thompson made his way into the department’s hallway. He was running late for an “end of semester” convocation and awards ceremony. He broke into a light jog to reach his colleagues heading for the university’s grand auditorium, an annual review attended faithfully over the last fourteen years as a member of the “informatics/new media” faculty at a mid-western state university. 

Catching up, between panting breaths, Professor Thompson asked anyone inclined to respond, “Do we have a new theme?”

 “Yeah, but it’s the exact wording used by one of those networking technology companies,” said Jack Dean, long-time friend and department colleague.

“Damn! The least they can do is come up with their own idea,” said Janice, a marketing specialist, beloved by students for her exceptional creative flair. “I don’t know why they do that,” speaking of the university president’s promotions team. “They recently hired a couple of my students for internships. Surely, they were able to come up with something original.”

“Nah… they always seem to mail the ‘theme’ in,” said Jack. “Maybe they’re overwhelmed by the latest funding cuts.”

“Who knows?” Professor Thompson wasn’t interested in the regular end of semester gossip. “I’m just glad this week is over.” He had a frantic final week as some big changes were on the horizon… exciting changes. He finally nailed that lucrative new media grant guaranteed to keep him busy for the full year of his earned sabbatical.

And it was a perfect day… the campus was in full springtime bloom. The smell of lilac and freshly cut grass filled Professor Thompson with a sense of well being and gladness as the group made their way along impeccably groomed sidewalk landscaping. Workers busy with graduation preparations made their way to and fro in golf carts from the sports coliseum. Students had long since retreated to their dorms, off campus housing, and local restaurants. The air was electric, as if any moment the party of newly minted university graduates would break out with a vengeance. Professor Thompson was intimately familiar with the scene as his undergrad years were spent right here.

“Lovely day for a great escape,” asked the interim department chair? “I bet you’re itching to get out there on the road.”

Professor Thompson was deep in reverie. He had dreamed of exploring the country, sea to shining sea. With the new media grant, he was not only free to do it, he was getting paid to do it with companions. Meeting people across the nation, asking them about the recent descent into fractious national politics. The nation had been clearly divided by tribal identities. Policies to address the problems were no longer a matter of good-faith negotiation and reasoned compromise. It was now all about which jersey you were wearing.

Professor Thompson called this phenomenon, “the fibrillating heart of our divided nation” and he was determined to get his arms around the dysfunction. Though not delusional enough to believe his research could cure the problem, he knows sunlight is the best disinfectant. And so, he was excited to get the process started. As an added bonus, he would be traveling with friends, Jack Dean and Billie Schmidt. Jack, Billie and Professor Thompson shared a long and eventful history as they were band mates in the 1990s… Grunge Metal band mates, in the Soungarden, Nirvana mold. All of this was in a previous life. The band broke up around the time they realized no one was gonna put up sufficient cash to get a video up on MTV. And besides, MTV seemed more into so-called “reality” anyway. Jack followed Professor Thompson into academe and Billie went to work for her father in the ever more technical world of auto mechanics.

As the convocation rambled through various department accomplishments, individual faculty and staff awards, and notable student accomplishments, Professor Thompson beamed with pride when he was called up to the stage to accept the grant award. His colleagues could be heard over the general applause with whistles and cat calls. The moment was sweet and all over as fast as it began. His portrait was flashed on the jumbo screen along with the title of his research and a photo of his department’s building. And with that, the adventure was about to begin. Just a few logistical matters, such as routing and interview appointment schedules. As well, Billie was still working on the vehicle that would take this motley crew on their journey. A luxuriously converted bus recently acquired from the local school district. The gang christened it the “Chool Bus” (the H is silent). Somehow, the “S” had been removed or worn away and rather than spend more money branding the vehicle, the gang agreed to leave well enough alone.

Stay tuned… next week…
Chapter 2: Billie Schmidt and the “Chool Bus”