Nirvana

The Chool Bus (ch16)

CHAPTER 16: A different breed of preppers in Spokane, a visit to the Grand Cooley Dam, and a pilgrimage to the home of Grunge Metal’s birthplace.

The gang was stoked! Through all those years and hundreds of gigs, The Forks had never been to Seattle, the birthplace of their favorite music hotbed. And now just a couple more stops to make and they’d be poised at the very doorstep of Grunge Mecca.

First, Spokane… Jack wanted to visit a former colleague and her husband. She, former office manager now golf pro. And he, former hockey pro and veteran of the now turbulent software development business. His firm was grappling with the rise of large language artificial intelligence models (AI) transforming job prospects for code jockeys into something more akin to project management positions. AI was indeed usurping entry level programming jobs and code jockeys were either learning to better interface with people or find other lines of work. Fortunately, Jack’s friend was boardroom politics adept and still gainfully employed.

When the Chool Bus rolled past the address provided, surroundings resembled a Mad Max wasteland so Billie asked Jack to confirm. They could see what looked like a fairly nice house a quarter mile off the paved road. On a dirt road with the surrounding land littered with loose barbed wire, abandoned vehicles, rotting boats, and piles of garbage. 

“Is this it?” cried Billie. “I don’t want the Bus stuck in quicksand, brambles, or a drug deal gone bad.”

Jack put a call into his old friends, Mai and Brandon Wilson. “What gives, Girlfriend? We’re here, but the neighborhood doesn’t look altogether settled… are we in the right place?”

Brandon said he could see the bus from his living room window so, “Yeah, this is the place.”  

Jack introduced the Forks to his friends, former colleagues, hell mates. Mai was from Cambodia and Brandon was Canadian. They were a colorful couple. She was Asian through and through, and he was cracker as they come, she’d refer to him as Honkey from time to time and he affectionately called her Dragon Lady on occasion. The most interesting thing about this colorful couple: Their kids, a boy and a girl, were about as normal as their parents were eccentric. And all of them under a fortified, swanky, million dollar home, nestled in a grove of trees, at the lip of a gorge with a freshwater creek at its base, stocked with provisions, self-sufficient power generation, and weapons ready to survive a zombie apocalypse.

“Wow, this is a far cry from the suburban tract home you had back in the aughts,” said Jack. He was still puzzling over the area’s apparent desolation, and why these folks would choose it for their great Spokane redoubt. 

“Yeah, well apparently your sense of paranoia is contagious.” Mai was fairly snappy with the comebacks. 

“But why? Won’t this area get developed somewhere down the road?” Jack was a self-confessed paranoid, but not pathological, and not nearly enough to invest a million dollars for an opulent mansion plopped down in a rusty dusty junkyard.

“Hey, we’re only a fifteen minute drive from the nearest provision outlets. It’s not as isolated as it seems.” Mai was whipping up her famous sticky rice and spicy dipping sauces. She loves those traditional dishes but Brandon prefers pizza and beer, because, you know… honkey. So, whenever Jack comes around, Mai puts on the spread. It’s a spectacular introduction to Asian food for Professor T, Billie, and Buck. 

After a couple hours of visiting and cleaning up after the meal, the Forks remounted the Chool Bus. A ninety minute drive to the Grand Cooley Dam. They’d catch the 2:00pm guided tour, then push on to the outskirts of Seattle where they’d settle in for the night. In the morning, after enjoying some famous Rain City coffee and danish, the Forks would make their way to London Bridge Studio. This is where a who’s-who of Grunge bands recorded in the 1990s. The first four Alice in Chains recordings, Pearl Jam’s biggest seller, 10, Soundgarden’s major label debut, Louder than Love, Mother Love Bone, Temple of the Dog, and, the thing that Mork T wanted to see most, the vocal booth where Alice in Chains recorded, Man in the Box. 

Next, they’d make their way to Black Dog Forge, a famous practice place for Soundgarden and Pearl Jam to name just a couple. Some of the most classic grunge cuts were written in that basement rehearsal space. Unfortunately, they wouldn’t get inside. They were, however, able to visit room #207, the Sub Pop Suite at the Palladium Hotel, lots of Sub Pop memorabilia, especially the most famous Sub Pop recording, Nirvana’s Bleach. 

Then, of course, a visit to the Edgewater Hotel, a veritable blizzard of music memorabilia, starting with the ‘60s when the Beatles rented rooms after being rejected by other hotels in the area. After that, many other iconic acts stayed at the Edgewater, Led Zeppelin and many more. 

After this whirlwind jaunt through Grunge Mecca, the Forks stopped for a late lunch at the Sub Pop founder’s favorite spot, Pho Bac. Back in the day, Pho Bac had two menu items: small and large bowls of Vietnamese soup, considered medicinal in some circles. Mia and Jack’s favorite work lunch choice back when they were Spokane hell mates in the aughts. Billie shared the sentiment and insisted, “We GOTTA have lunch at Pho Bac!” When they got there they found the original location was closed, but a new one was established a few short yards away… 

Ummmm Pho… good music… good friends… good soup. 

NEXT WEEK:
Professor T explains the rationale for his research.

GO BACK => Preface and Chapter Links

The Chool Bus (ch15)

CHAPTER 15: Billie and MollyG enjoy the steamy Clearwater Mineral Pool and Coeur d’Alene turns out bland as any mid-sized white-bread college town.

The gang decided to go separate ways for recreation in the Missoula area, Jack and Buck teamed up on a mission to experience the local flavors, that is, the local brew-pub flavors. Experiencing the people was important too, but, according to Jack, “a man has to have priorities.” 

Professor T held the Chool Bus down as a substantial backlog of business had accumulated since departing on this leg of the trip. He wanted it all moved to the outbox before heading to Coeur d’Alene for the next round of focus group interviews. 

By the time Professor T finished his morning necessaries, Billie and MollyG were making their way to the Clearwater Forest in Molly’s Mini Cooper. The ladies had been an item back in the 90s when the Forks were in their heyday, and though their breakup was mostly amicable, Billie suspected Molly hadn’t doused that torch. But as they say… time and tide. MollyG moved on, married one of her favorite high school party pals, had a fulfilling career as a social media strategist, her husband turned out to be a decent human being, and their kids looked to be developing mostly stable. “No complaints. Life is good, though a little predictable and sometimes kind of boring.” Molly was unloading on her trusted confidant and former lover. 

“I’m glad we could reconnect,” said Billie as the ladies eased a’la natural into the healing steam of the Clearwater mineral pool. 

“I often wonder what our lives might have been like had we stayed together,” said Molly. 

“Well, it wouldn’t have been boring.” Billie had the matter settled. “I’ve given this a lot of thought and like you, i’m inclined to go with the normie flow. I don’t try to hide who i really am, but when i think about the challenge of raising children, it would stop being so much about me. I’d strive to give my kids a clean runway into the world. And besides, if there’s a ring on my finger, the town busybodies will have fewer handles to grab when looking for someone to ruin.” Molly turned to Billie with a puzzled squint. “I know that sounds a smidge paranoid. Probably from traveling with a cyber security researcher.” Molly knew she was talking about Jack Dean, someone she had dated before meeting Billie.

“Right.” Molly’s memory bank was dumping Jack residue on her head like Nickelodeon green slime. 

“Like Jack always says, ‘just because your paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.’ Not sure if Jack or Curt Cobane coined that.” MollyG was a big Nirvana fan, but for her the quote oozed with Jack energy.  

The ladies had a pleasant catchup session, and by the time they were dried, combed, and scrunchied, Billie felt confident MollyG had made peace with her lingering desires. After getting back into their street clothes they remounted the Mini Cooper delivering Billie back to the Chool Bus and MollyG to the hearth and home of her little family.

In the morning, Jack and Buck regaled the Forks with some tidbits picked up on their Missoula bar crawl: First, the locals are proud of their rugged, slow-paced, wild-west, hard workin’ diverse heritage, meaning elements of the pale-faced pioneers and the great spirit native sentiments blend in a unique stew that places a high value on protecting the state’s natural beauty and unique history.

But then, the true aim comes bursting forth. You see, Jack is a beer hound, and some of the best brews, according to the Great American Beer Fest, can be found right there in Missoula. The boys started with The oldest brewery in town and the only German microbrewery in the Montana Rockies focusing on traditional lagers. They concluded the tour with a 12 tap pub serving artisan pizza, and a patio with a bird’s eye view of the surrounding mountains.

“Don’t mind me, i’ll just hang around the bus and do all the grunt work.” Professor T was feigning jealousy looking for a humor opening… failing to find one, with a slow smile, he assured the gang he was, “just kidding. In fact, i’m all caught up.”

“Maybe you can lighten up a smidge, yes?” Jack was acting like a jerk.

“We’ll see what we can do,” said Mork Thompson with Jack’s assholiness washing right off his back like water on a duck.

The trip to Coeur d’Alene was a bit tense given Professor T’s apprehension regarding the apocalyptic mood of the Great American Redoubt. He was afraid his research into the fibrillating heart of the divided nation might be misconstrued by these end-times preppers as having a political agenda at odds with their ideas about the future.

“Ah, don’t let it worry you.” Jack of all people was playing the voice of reason for a change. “I’m told their ravings are more bluster than anything, though i know their weapons are real. I once employed a network administrator to work in a Spokane office, but he lived on the outskirts of Coeur d’Alene. He invited me to dinner with his family. Seven dirt eaters, door slammers and curtain climbers crawling around the property like feral cats, but cute, yeah. His wife was a consummate den mom. She was able to whip those rug rats into line for dinner like a drill sergeant.” Jack took a bite from the breakfast burrito he had picked up at the grab-n-go.

“Tell Buck about his man cave,” Billie called out from the driver’s seat.

“Oh, yeah. Well, this guy was definitely strapped. His man cave was lined with pistols, rifles, survival gear, and some ominous crates in a dark corner. I asked him about those crates, about the size of a rocket-propelled grenade launcher, if he had one, that is.” 

“Woah!” Buck was paying close attention to Jack’s story. 

“Yeah,” said Jack. “I asked about them, and his response would have been funny if not cliche. He said, and i quote, ‘i could tell you, but…’ And that’s where my curiosity reached its end. I really didn’t want to know this about him.”

“Did he think you were going to leave it at that?” Buck was curious.

“Well, for all i know, those crates were filled with first-aid gear and supplies. None of it was any of my business. The guns i saw were all legal and registered. The evening left me the impression that he was an old-fashioned, be fruitful and multiply church-going, hard working American dad with enough ordinance to protect the brood in the event of an attack from a hostile force.” 

“Was he a good network admin?” Buck wanted to know.

“Sure, he never gave me cause to think otherwise. For all i know, he’s providing quality IT support for some other firm as we speak. But i had to block him on Facebook as he’s a prolific Christian doomsday ranter and it stopped being funny, so i really don’t know what he’s up to now.”

“None of this feels comforting,” Professor T was half listening to the conversation, and sinking deeper into an unsettling dread.

“You’ll see,” Jack was slightly amused by Professor T’s uncharacteristic concern. And as the Forks were packing the Chool Bus for the next leg of the trip, Professor T had forgotten all of those worries as the focus group and interactions around Coeur d’Alene turned out to be bland and pedestrian as one might expect from any Norman Rockwell world depicted in those Americana Paintings.

NEXT WEEK:
A different breed of preppers in Spokane, a visit to the Grand Cooley Dam, and a pilgrimage to the home of Grunge Metal’s birthplace. 

GO BACK => Preface and Chapter Links

The Chool Bus (ch01)

Chapter 1: Professor Thompson’s Roadtrip Sabbatical

The rhythmic cha-click of his office door felt somehow symbolic as Professor Thompson made his way into the department’s hallway. He was running late for an end of semester convocation and awards ceremony. He broke into a light jog to reach his colleagues heading for the university’s grand auditorium, an annual review attended faithfully over the last fourteen years as a member of the informatics/new media faculty at a mid-western state university. 

Catching up between panting breaths, Professor Thompson asked anyone inclined to respond, “Do we have a new theme?”

 “Yeah, but it’s the exact wording used by one of those networking technology companies,” said Jack Dean, long-time friend and department colleague.

“Damn! The least they can do is come up with their own idea,” said Janice, a marketing specialist beloved by students for her creative flair. “I don’t know why they do that,” she added, speaking of the university president’s promotions team. “They recently hired a couple of my students for internships. Surely they were able to come up with something original.”

“Nah… they always seem to mail the theme in,” said Jack. “Maybe they’re overwhelmed by the latest funding cuts.”

“Who knows?” Professor Thompson wasn’t interested in the regular end of semester gossip. “I’m just glad this week is over.” He had a frantic final week as some big changes were on the horizon… exciting changes. He finally nailed that lucrative new media grant guaranteed to keep him busy for the full year of his earned sabbatical.

And it was a perfect day… the campus was in full springtime bloom. The smell of lilac and freshly cut grass filled Professor Thompson with a sense of well being and gladness. As the group made their way along impeccably groomed landscaping, workers were busy preparing the main stage for the big event, gliding to and fro in golf carts from the sports coliseum. Students had long since retreated to dorms, off campus housing, and local restaurants. The air was electric, as if any moment the party of newly minted university graduates would break out with a vengeance. Professor Thompson was intimately familiar with the scene as his undergrad years were spent right here.

“Lovely day for a great escape?” asked the interim department chair. “I bet you’re itching to get out there on the road.”

Professor Thompson was deep in reverie. He had dreamed of exploring the country sea to shining sea. With the new media grant he was not only free to do it, he was getting paid to do it with companions. Meeting people across the nation, asking them about the recent descent into fractious national politics. The nation had been clearly divided by tribal identities. Policies to address the problems were no longer a matter of good-faith negotiation and reasoned compromise. It was now all about which jersey you were wearing.

Professor Thompson called this phenomenon, the fibrillating heart of our divided nation and he was determined to get his arms around the dysfunction.

Though not delusional enough to believe his research could cure the problem, he knows sunlight is the best disinfectant. And he was excited to get the process started. As an added bonus he would be traveling with friends, Jack Dean and Billie Schmidt. Jack, Billie, and Professor Thompson shared a long and eventful history as they were band mates in the 1990s… Grunge Metal band mates, in the Soundgarden, Nirvana mold… all of this in a previous life. The band broke up around the time they realized no one was going to put up sufficient cash to get a video on MTV. And besides, MTV seemed more into so-called reality anyway. Ultimately, Jack followed Professor Thompson into academe and Billie went to work for her father in the more technical world of auto mechanics.

As the convocation rambled through various department accomplishments, individual faculty and staff awards, and notable student accomplishments Professor Thompson beamed with pride when he was called up to the stage to accept the grant award. His colleagues could be heard over the general applause with whistles and cat calls. The moment was sweet and all over as fast as it began. His portrait was flashed on the jumbo screen along with the title of his research and a photo of his department’s building.

And with that, the adventure was about to begin. Just a few logistical matters, such as routing and interview appointment schedules. As well, Billie was still working on the vehicle that would take this motley crew on their journey. A luxuriously converted bus recently acquired from the local school district. The gang christened it the Chool Bus (the H is silent). Somehow, the S had been removed or worn away, and rather than spend more money branding the vehicle the gang agreed to leave well enough alone.

NEXT WEEK:
Chapter 2: Billie Schmidt and the Chool Bus