The Chool Bus (ch27)

CHAPTER 27: Focus-group interviews at UNLV complete, the Forks take a detour to Lake Tahoe for a guided boat cruise on Emerald Bay.

When Professor T started going on and on about Lake Tahoe, Buck silently remembered the wild story a girl he dated in Corpus Christie back in high school told him. Apparently her mother had friends who traveled to Tahoe for a gathering of Western-themed social media influencers, basically an industry party. Lots of dancing and modeling cowboy/girl clothing, hats, and horse tack products. There was a “bad weather” forecast, but storms very often come and go quickly on this high alpine lake as a matter of routine. Unfortunately for several boat owners and eight unlucky passengers, the storm did quite a bit more than cause a blustery inconvenience and Buck was determined to pump the brakes on any lake-cruise ideas if the forecast started looking sketchy. 

The gang wanted to charter a private party cruise on Emerald Bay and Buck’s no shrinking violet, so he made no protest, but keeping this tragic story close to his vest, he watched the weather forecast closely. He was prepared to make a case for sticking to the shore if necessary…he did not trust Mother Nature…not here.

As the Chool Bus rolled over a rise entering the lake’s basin, surrounded by Sierra Nevada mountains, these flatlanders felt a strange sense of claustrophobic verticality. After all, the Forks were used to seeing the horizon disappear up to twenty miles in any direction. Their familiar landscape was horizontal. But here in the Tahoe basin the spacial axis flips almost completely vertical. Instead of an open sky stretching forever, the landscape folds sharply upward. It felt almost like they were cupped inside a giant basin, surrounded by timber-heavy peaks nine to ten thousand feet. It was somewhat disorienting for Billie. She knew the Bus was up to the alpine mechanical challenge and she had no trouble piloting in these conditions, but she had never seen such a natural spectacle as this. From one of the scenic overlooks they could actually see granite boulders up to fifty feet below the surface as if resting at the bottom of a freshly scrubbed swimming pool. In this expanse, the shade of blue isn’t the soft hazy sky-color to which they were accustomed, but more like a deep, cobalt electric blue that seemed artificially saturated.

And their depth perception was affected, too. On the plains, when one sees a town or a ridge, they know roughly how long it takes to drive there. In the Tahoe basin, across the liquid expanse, the opposit shoreline looks like one could reach out and touch it, yet it’s twelve miles of deep, ice-cold water away. 

When the gang finally made it to the marina they agreed Tahoe felt like stepping inside a giant, hidden room made of stone, glass, and pine. Sort of a shock to the system… like moving from a world of infinite horizontal space to one dominated by massive depth and towering height.

As Professor T worked out final boarding arrangements his comrades relaxed at the bar with buck stealthily monitoring the weather in real-time. He had resolved to stay fairly sober in order not to miss any subtle cues from Mother Nature which would send him into guardian mode.

“So what about those deep-water mafia graveyard legends?” said Billie. “Like that scene in the Godfather where Fredo met his untimely end… i heard the bottom of Lake Tahoe would be littered with perfectly preserved former wiseguys sleeping with the fishes. You know… because the water is so c-c-c-cold?” Billy was half-joking. She knew deep-water exploring technologies had to have advanced to the point of exploring the bottom long ago. If there was any truth to the legends, they’d have heard about it by now.

Jack knew the stories were just that, provocative and entertaining, but essentially a nothingburger. “In fact, mobsters looking to make a killing in the casino business back in the day found Tahoe basically too much trouble. With the small size, inclement, sometimes unpredictably furious weather, a ‘Sin City’ on the lake never really materialized. The casinos that did emerge on the South Shore were basically bootstrapped by a couple ‘straight-arrow’ guys, anyway. So… great movie fodder, but not much in the way of news.”  

“Buzzkiller,” said Billie with a crooked smirk.

Fees paid and boarding time approaching, Buck took one last look at the forecast, all clear! When the gates opened, they made a beeline for the top deck, grabbed a drink and, taking in the massive 360- degree expanse of the crystal-clear water, basked in the sunshine and glory of Mother Nature’s spectacular wonder. 

Several miles of deep-blue open water later with Mount Tallac looming large overhead, the boat finally passed through the narrow mouth of Emerald Bay, the deep cobalt blue of the main lake’s water abruptly shifting into a brilliant, translucent turquoise. Once inside the bay, the captain throttled down slowing the boat to a smooth, quiet glide where they would soon circle Fannette Island giving everyone a photogenic view of the stone “tea house” perched on its peak, then past Vikingsholm, a thirty-eight room Scandinavian castle nestled in the pine forest on the shore.

After dropping anchor and releasing the more adventurous guests to some swimming or floating time in the not quite as icy water of the bay, the boat was again underway for a beautiful “golden hour” return to the marina. Professor T was at the bow taking it all in, with the sun dropping behind the Sierra peaks and the sky turning vibrant shades of pink, orange, and violet all reflecting across the still water, he almost dreaded going back into the breach of our divided nation looking for the causes of it’s wild fibrillation. Jack was in the main galley talking to a handsome lady on the boat for a family shindig. Not a single word about cyber-security and Jack was more than fine with it. Buck and Billie were back on the top deck soaking the experience and trying to hide that fluttering feeling in your stomach when you know something seismic is brewing, but you’re kinda scared of it and you do your best to hide it from your familiars. 

Once back in the bus and heading for the RV park, Buck let out a sigh of relief and never mentioned his Texas cowgirl friend’s tragic story.

NEXT WEEK:
All agreed, the backtracking detour to Lake Tahoe was worth the trouble, but it was time to get back to business. Eleven punishing hours to Flagstaff Arizona for the next round of  focus-group interviews… then, a trip to the deepest crack in the USA, the Grand Canyon.

GO BACK => Preface and Chapter Links

Below the Earth – Above the Sun: To Whom it may Concern

06-FridayThe13-2025:

Ok… laundry day in Waldorf, Maryland. A mere 16 miles from DC-Metro’s “Green Line” to the Federal Triangle. Last weekend, i spent 45k steps perusing the triangle, including a walkabout in the Jefferson Library and the Smithsonian “Portrait Studio.” As well, it just so happened to be Pride Fest and that’s the reason i got so many steps. I had to walk AROUND the fenced-in festival area until such time as they accepted revelers. When they started letting people in, they wouldn’t allow my freakin’ backpack, so i had to ditch it for the Sunday visit. 

Anyway… this is No Kings weekend, the 250th year anniversary of the Continental Army, and (more importantly) Donald Trump’s birthday. So, in honor of all that (mostly the naked emperor’s birthday), there will be a festive military parade, as if we had something to prove to our nation’s enemies. By the way, what enemies really need to be intimidated?? The DOMESTIC enemy?? That’s right, Mr. Trump and his acolytes have been demonizing his political opposition for nearly a decade, declaring them the “enemy of the people.” He behaves as if he REALLY wants a Civil War redo. He even re-renamed all of those recently renamed Southern military bases after Confederate Generals.

I would say, “can you believe it?” But we’re WAY past that, we can believe it. It’s no longer horrifying, and i fear a climate of having the US executive branch at odds with half the population they are SUPPOSED to be serving is getting normalized. Seriously, what does he think? That he can politically cleanse the nation till only MAGAs remain

Bleep THAT!!

How this shakes out beyond the political black hole’s event horizon is anyone’s guess. Mine is as good as any, so here are a few plausible scenarios:

  • ONE: Investigators chasing the possibility that Elon and his hacker buccaneers rigged the 2024 election, find a smoking gun that proves Mr. Trump’s posturing about a stolen 2020 Election was merely foreshadowing for everything 2024 and after. Between congressional gerrymandering, the stacking of the courts by McConnel, and Elon’s hacker squad actively changing ballots, we’ll find Harris actually won that election, and the house of cards Mr. Trump built comes crashing down in a whispering whimper.
  • TWO: The rightward shift of several key demographics was actually a thing. Trump holds on to his Trifecta, and there’s no more democracy. Curtis Yarvin’s wettest of dreams come true, Steve Bannon finally pops like the malignant cyst he is, Stephen Miller laps up the blood, and the upside down is permanently installed until such time as a stout resistance infiltrates the military and stages another coup, setting in motion a constant cycle of banana republic-esque military coup after military coup.
  • THREE: The mid-term turnout is so overwhelmingly blue that no amount of cheating can stand, and MAGA’s demise is somewhat delayed.
  • FOUR: California, Washington, Oregon, and the North Eastern New England states secede from the MAGA disunion, join forces with Canada setting off a fierce border war with which Idaho, Montana, and North Dakota desperately lobby Texas, Louisiana, Arizona, and Florida for assistance. A futile effort in the end as Mexico takes advantage of the chaos keeping the southern states too busy to be of much help on the Northern Front.

Yikes…!!

I ask my MAGA friends and neighbors… “is this REALLY what you want? Do you HATE gays, atheists, independent-minded women, brown and trans people so much that you’ll gladly push this formerly respected world power into a zero-sum contest over cultural trivialities?” Seriously, i NEVER got mad at anyone wishing me “Merry Christmas.” In fact, i am prone to throw that greeting around preemptively as a way to bring down the temperature in my ruby red neighborhoods.

As well, i have been propositioned by gay men for what reasons i cannot fathom other than you CAN’T JUDGE a BOOK by the COVER (duh)! Did i get angry?? Of course not. It’s flattering. In one case, i was in a typical top-40 dance band playing a ski-resort gig. Flaming youth! Apparently, i was broadcasting pheromones… it was a compliment. I politely thanked the bar patron for the compliment and let him know i was playing on the hetero team, “straight as an arrow.” He turned his attention elsewhere and that’s that… not rocket science.

At another extreme… in my elementary school days, i was on fire for Jesus and ready for a lifetime of evangelism and missionary wanderings. But something happened as my frontal lobes started developing expanding my worldview past the tip of my nose. I came to understand that all devoted religious followers believe theirs is the best or only path to the divine. Mine also happened to include doctrines about those who do NOT believe, that they would be in for eternal agony if they didn’t, “see the light.” This i simply could not square with what i learned about Jesus’ example, and so i began a spiritual search that ended up somewhere around Tao, Buddhism, QuantumMysteriousness.

Do i now hate those who cling to their exclusionary creeds?? NO… i have Muslim friends, Mennonite friends, Baptist friends, Hindu friends, Catholic friends, Cherokee friends, etc. etc. I tend to regard religion with the same discretion as sexuality, in private, among friendly interlocutors. 

Regarding trans people: Do those hopelessly bigoted troglodytes actually believe a person would CHOOSE social ostracization, a lifetime of being regarded as a freak? Anyone who believes a human being (social animals to the core) would CHOOSE exile probably need professional help. I wonder if they’ve ever tried engaging empathetic thought experiments, like walking in the metaphorical shoes of a trans person found in any community. Not in your back yard, you say? Maybe think in terms of bell curves. The numbers may be miniscule but each bell has a tail at the extremes; least and most likely. Can you put yourself in the shoes of the trans person you’ve encountered personally? Did you choose to be that way? Why? Think it through and get back to me won’t you? 

Dear MAGA…
Why can’t you be more like Jesus?
Please explain as if speaking to Kindergartners.

If you don’t want to have this discussion in public, please DM me, i will keep your confidence… you have my word.

FINALLY… i’m getting this out in the open because there have been speculations about what may happen to protesters in DC tomorrow. If we have another Kent State or Tiananmen Square and i don’t make it out, i want my MAGA friends to ponder the above questions for my sake. Lastly, i beg you… don’t drag my children into a zero-sum violence choice… Please Please Please??

Cheers and gratitude… Rohlfie

The Campus Crusades: Hippies and Hashtags

So, the nightly news is all a-twitter about these “campus crusades,” wouldn’t you know it? Students these days, with their avocado toast and fidget spinners, are apparently throwing tantrums worthy of a cicada party. But fear not, America! We’ve got a crack security team on standby – guys in kevlar looking like they wandered off the set of a bad sci-fi flick. Apparently, pepper spray and zip ties are the new hotness in higher education.

Now, hold on a cotton-pickin’ minute. Back in the good ol’ days, when your grandpappy was dodging tear gas at a draft protest, things were different. It wasn’t a five-second news clip with dramatic music; it was a full-blown morality play beamed into every living room. Walter Cronkite, bless his soul, wasn’t whipping out metaphors about the wrath of God every time a student raised a fist.

But hey, that was then. Nowadays, the media landscape is more fragmented than a dropped kaleidoscope. Every Tom, Dick, and Harriot with a smartphone can be their own goddamn news anchor, spewing out half-truths and conspiracy theories faster than you can say “filter bubble.” Dissent ain’t a unified chorus anymore, it’s a cacophony of angry tweets and pixelated FB livestreams.

Back in the groovy 60s, students had their own media machine – underground newspapers, folk anthems that could launch Viking longboats, and even the occasional documentary that didn’t make the government look like a pack of bumbling buffoons. Nowadays, student activism plays out on TikTok, where teenagers with ironic mustaches film themselves chanting slogans in between dance challenges. Progress, they call it.

But let’s not forget the elephant in the room, shall we? The very foundation of our democracy is about as sturdy as a house of cards built on a sandbar. Politicians sling feces like it’s going out of style, and the concept of compromise has gone the way of the eight-track player. No wonder these kids are restless; they’re inheriting a world where “truth” is a relative term and civility is a forgotten relic.

And then there’s the whole “culture war” nonsense. It’s enough to make a body nostalgic for the good old days when everyone was united against a common enemy – like, say, actual fascism. Now, it’s all about who gets to use which bathroom and who gets offended by what pronoun. The lines are so blurry, Uncle Walter himself would need a double dose of Pepto-Bismol to sort it all out.

So, a word to the wise, folks: sending in the troops to silence dissent is a slippery slope steeper than a greased watermelon. Peaceful protest is the cornerstone of a healthy democracy. Take it away, and you’re left with nothing but a pressure cooker waiting to explode. Let’s not trade the right to disagree for the quiet hum of an authoritarian state. Because trust me, that’s a future that wouldn’t be very “groovy” at all.

Onward through the fog… R.H.