kindred spirit

The Chool Bus (ch25)

CHAPTER 25: After a hair-raising taste of narco-political street chaos, the Forks finally make it to Vegas. But none of them survived the day unfazed.

Decompressing that first night in Las Vegas, Billie opened her laptop for some virtual sightseeing and to give her father an update on her adventures with the Forks. But that wasn’t the full story as she had this nagging growth gaining in size and pressure in her bosom with each passing day. 

TO: Daryl (Dad) Schmidt
FROM: Billie Schmidt
SUBJECT: Mayhem South of the Border

Hey, Pops…

By now you’ve probably heard the news from Mexico. I want you to know we were never in any real danger, but gunplay did get a bit close for comfort. We were enjoying some small world conversations with a bunch of New Zealanders enjoying a port-of-call visit. You should have seen the look on their faces when the sounds of gun play wafted into the cantina. By then, our waiter had translated the general “shelter in place” order. It seems no one warned them (the Kiwi tourists) this kind of thing could happen so close to the US border, but here we were. Talk about a buzz kill… 😉

Truthfully, i wasn’t scared. You know me…i’m a troubleshooter. But the new guy, Buck…he impressed me as someone who never walks into a strange situation without scoping escape routes or items that might make effective self-defense weapons. He reminds me of…me in many ways, and frankly that scares me a bit. Sometimes i get kinda choked up when he snaps into guardian mode. And now, for God’s sake, when i hear certain music. You know, that high lonesome sound, it reminds me of that big Texas lug and i go all a flutter, feeling kinda empty and babbling. You know that’s not like me. I guess this all means something, not sure what, but don’t be surprised if i end up bringing him around for your inspection. 

With all my heart,
                        Billie

P.S. You know, New Zealanders love to mess with tourists. For example, one of them tried to tell us there was a secret underwater tunnel connecting New Zealand to Australia, another tried to tell us native Kiwi birds are ground up for meat in fast-food burgers…duh…everyone knows Kiwi birds are a protected species. And so…the clueless tourist jokes were on them when the dookie hit the rotating air displacement blades…it would have been funnier if the locals didn’t seem so uncertain of the outcome.

Billie’s father was relieved to hear from her. He had seen news reports of unrest south of the border, but he had hoped the gang would stay away from the worst of it. And they did, but some of the minor skirmishes had occurred too close to the tourist centers for comfort. And Billie’s mention of having feelings for the new guy gave him a strange sensation. Almost as if his soul was exhaling after all those years of holding his breath for her. Ever since she came out to him, he worried she would never find the kind of love he had been lucky enough to experience with her mother. He had seen Billie’s lovers come and go but he never sensed there might be a future with any of them, but her email gave him hope.

TO: Billie (Pumpkin) Schmidt
FROM: Daryl Schmidt
RE: Mayhem South of the Border

My Dearest Daughter…

Thank you for taking some time to put our minds at ease. We saw the news reports, and though most of the really bad news was coming from areas further south, i know there is a thriving arms trade at the border. I know those guns are going to cartels and their rivals, so quite frankly, i wished you and your bat-shit crazy friends would just leave the border uncrossed. That said, i also agree with Mark Twain, you know, that stuff about travel being the best cure for bigotry.

Holy Hell! What’s a worried father to do?

Anyway, it sounds like you’ve found a kindred spirit in that Buck Wellstone fella. I would love to meet him, even if these feelings don’t progress into something more serious. He sounds like a stand-up guy. The story of how you met him, really stands out in my memory. The way he was able to deescalate that dust up with your professor friend really impressed me. So yeah, bring him around at your earliest opportunity. In the meantime, we’ll just keep on keepin’ on here at the dealership. Things are slowing down a little with all the inflation and volatility aggravated by the Orange Casino Slayer. 

You know, i’ve always respected the Iranians. Their society is thousands of years old, and that’s nothing to sneeze at. Yes, nuclear weaponry is a potential species killer, but if Iran’s enemies have the bomb, why the hell do we think it’s important one of the oldest still-functioning societies should be prevented from having that particular method of self-defense? It’s only fair. Of course, i won’t be able to develop any hope for the human species until such time as we are able to work together WITHOUT those ultimate doomsday devices, mutual deterrence notwithstanding…but i digress.

Thank you for the update… 

Love from home…
            Papa Schmidt

NEXT WEEK:
The Forks go separate ways in Vegas and Jack Dean crashes out after attending a session concerning Chinese Artificial Intelligence research achieving major progress on the cheap.

GO BACK => Preface and Chapter Links

The Chool Bus (ch14)

CHAPTER 14: Professor T steps in it again and Billie arranges a mineral hot spring rendezvous with a kindred spirit.

Billie Schmidt has a reliable method for combating driver fatigue common in her family. Her dad was notorious for nodding behind the wheel. And though never a traffic tragedy, he did send family members into a state of watchful vigilance and maybe that’s why. And so Billie had several mitigations aimed at setting passengers at ease. “Sunflower seeds and citrus-infused seltzer,” she said when Jack marveled at her stamina behind the wheel.

Today however, Billie is on a mission… get to Missoula and get settled so she can duck out in the morning for some hot springs action, a’la natural.  And since they would be close, she made a mental note to contact an old friend from the wild days, MollyG. Their talent was staying out of jail by sheer will and MacGyveresque creativity. And so MollyG would meet the forks at the RV park, then spirit Billie away in her Mini Cooper…more of a covered roller skate than a car…but the gals didn’t need much as they were planning to soak, again, a’la natural. 

The site, located in Idaho’s Clearwater National Forest, a popular, accessible, undeveloped, clothing-optional natural spring. Three rock-lined pools nestled in a forest setting along a half-mile hike. It would take a couple hours to get there from the Missoula campground. A mostly unspoiled, natural, soak in the woods experience with no developed infrastructure, only user-made, rock-bottomed pools… and yes, clothing optional.

Billie was known and admired by many for her brave self-possessed countenance, and she had friends everywhere. But this detour was not something the rest of the Forks were prepared to endure so she was grateful MollyG was available for the outing.

She reached for the seeds and soda, just in case, but didn’t really need them today as she was anxious to meet up with MollyG for a blissful catch-up session. She chuckled with a wide grin reflecting on some of the things that should have but somehow didn’t land the gals in jail back in the day. Like the time they drove Molly’s VW Bug into the porch lattice of one of the neighborhood Mother-in-law cottages. It was an accident, truly, but alcohol might have played a role.

It’s not that the gals were overtly testing the boundaries of what smokin’ hot party girls could get away with…

…more a tale of skant drivers-ed attentiveness and a faulty clutch on the bug. That said, they were fairly sure the boys in her class would have been subjected to the sobriety dance, had their cooler confiscated, and written up for DUI. None of these things happened to Billie and MollyG. 

Billie fixed her gaze down the road. Thoughts of all the straight guys pestering them back in the day, and how they (the fellas) resembled embarrassed peacocks upon finding out the gals were unavailable filled her with nostalgia, a slight smile. Billy let out a shallow sigh. Sunflower seeds, citrus infused seltzer,  wistful reminiscings, and Sam Jackson to keep her heading down the right roads… what more could she ask for?

***

Meanwhile, Professor T was getting agitated by the Zoom conference he had endured the last hundred miles. It was an attempt to mediate a settlement regarding some alleged improper behavior toward long-time administrative manager, Abigail Weiser. Ms Weiser’s attorneys, Scheizer and Bok, had convinced Ms Weiser she should sue for punitive damages, alleging she could have advanced to a higher position at the university in the absence of Professor T’s bogus appeals, power imbalanced intimidation, and non-consensual groping. Of course, this was a believable allegation as Professor T had been committed to bachelor life ever since the dissolution of his only marriage. As far as the Forks knew, Professor T would go to the grave single harboring absolutely no regrets or aspirations for a different fate.

He finally snapped… there would be no settlement. “You’ll get a grand total of nothing, not a single penny from me, you two-bit ambulance chasing charlatans!” He was addressing Ms Weiser’s attorneys, nearly screaming into the headset microphone. “We’ll see you in court!” Professor T probably should have held his composure as this outburst was also witnessed by Ms Weiser and the court-appointed mediator. 

“Now now, temper temper,” Jack was starting to get worried for Professor T’s blood pressure.

“Lemmie at ‘em!” Billie piped in with her characteristically sanguine moral support.

Buck moved a little closer to the red-faced Mork Thompson asking if there was anything he could do to help the good professor navigate what was clearly becoming a career threatening, potential legal minefield. “In fact,” Professor T finally cooling off some shook his head slightly. “I think i need more intel… these shysters are leading Abigail down the road to perdition.”

“Say no more!” Buck knew a Corpus Christi couple in the business of gathering competitive intelligence (read: domestic surveillance and clandestine spycraft). “Head ‘em up… move ‘em out… them yella-bellied varmints are gonna have to deal with karma, Texas style.” Buck was channeling his inner gun slinger.

“Are we there yet?” Jack was eager to change the subject.

NEXT WEEK:
Billie and MollyG enjoy the steamy Clearwater Mineral Pool and Coeur d’Alene turns out bland as any mid-sized white-bread college town.

GO BACK => Preface and Chapter Links