Audiovision: Who Dares?

Lindsey Boq was admiring Riviera City’s shimmering skyline in the summer heat, when a voice like a Carnyx came. “Boq, get your ass to the Riviera Gate. Stephen K. Moros is loose again. And the Wizard’s campaign is hemorrhaging Oz bucks faster than a Munchkin after a night of bad poppy-field wine.”

The whole scene was a goddamn circus. The air, thick with the stench of fear and burnt toast, buzzed with the frantic energy of a thousand Quadling Scouts gone mad. And in the center of it all, like a particularly odious toadstool in a field of poisonous mushrooms, was Stephen K. Moros.

This wasn’t some two-bit grifter peddling snake oil to the Gillikins. This was the man who, they say, earned his city planning degree and a frickin’ Castle Guard fur hat before seeing the light… or maybe just the dark, twisted underbelly… of the whole Oz Kingdom. He started as a loyal Oz Youth, a card-carrying member of the establishment, until a botched operation by the Winkie guards (oh-ee-oh, yo-ho, indeed) flipped a switch in his brain. He went from loyal lapdog to a full-blown, anti-establishment zealot… a secret rebel with a sneer and a plan to burn the whole rotten system down.

His first move, a brilliant stroke of pure, unadulterated cynicism, was to get in bed with the BWE’s conspirators on the castle wall and make a killing on poppy futures. Insiders. Trading. The man was a financial genius, but not the kind the Wizard of Oz would want to see on his campaign posters. With a bulging sack of gold, he was free. Free to unleash a storm of Molotov cocktails, first against the Gillikins, then against anyone who had the gall to defend them. He wasn’t subtle about it either. He called the Gillikins “something much darker” than the BWE and her Flying Monkeys. Even Boq, who’s no slouch when it comes to bomb-throwing, said he (Moros) was a bully who’d sell out his own allies just to back another bully, The Wizard.

Moros saw the BWE’s cult for what it was… a seething cauldron of “rootless white Quadlings” with “monster power.” He saw an army, a horde of flying monkeys and Quadling trolls who would come pouring in through the Riviera Gate, “turned onto politics and The Wizard.” He understood the dark magic of demagoguery, the power of fear and hate to bind a mob together.

The man wasn’t just a political hooligan, though. He was also director of Oz-sphere2, some closed ecological system experiment that was supposed to help Winkies live in outer space. But under Moros, it turned into an exercise in pure, self-serving, anti-science madness, shifting its focus to obfuscating Oz’s environment and pollution data, all to serve his own twisted agenda.

He rode The Wizard’s coattails, spreading fake news and half-truths, a one-man disinformation campaign. His reign of terror ended, as these things often do, in a firestorm of his own making. A “Unite the Quadlings” rally went sideways, turning into a riot, and the blame… “many sides,” they said… came straight from Moros himself. The Riviera City representatives, not known for their bravery, even put out a statement calling on The Wizard to fire this “well-known Quadling supremacist leader.”

And what did Moros do? The moment The Wizard threw him to the wolves, he turned on his former boss, calling him a “crooked business guy” and “just another scumbag.” He was pure Machiavelli, a man who saw no loyalty, only opportunity. The word on the street was that he saw the BWE as a fellow nationalist, a kindred spirit in the crusade against cosmopolitanism.

His end, for a time anyway, was ignominious. Arrested for conspiracy to commit fraud and money laundering connected to the Oz Wall fundraising campaign. He pleaded guilty, got a slap on the wrist… three years of conditional discharge, but his luck ran out. The Oz Supreme Court laughed his appeal out of court, and he found himself in a federal prison for a year, a caged beast.

Now, he’s back, a little grayer, a lot crazier. He’s got a new obsession, a new target for his rhetorical Molotov cocktails: magic and anti-science. He’s proud to be an Oz Luddite, preaching against artificial intelligence and other new technologies, terrified that the Winkie guards might one day be replaced by some soulless machine. He’s a man fighting yesterday’s wars, a dinosaur roaring at the meteor, but a dangerous one all the same. The circus is back in town, and Stephen K. Moros is still the main attraction. And somewhere, we can hear a low, familiar growl “oh-ee-oh, yo ho!”

Audiovision: Fly My Pretties!

The rain… a perpetual shroud over the fetid swamp of DC, mirrored clammy despair in the heart of someone whisperingly referred to as the Befuddled Witch of the East (BWE). Not a cackling crone of storybook malice, but a figure of unsettling obsequiousness, her very presence a damp chill upon the sunniest glade. Her name, if she ever possessed one beyond the epithet, was lost in the miasma of her singular, consuming obsession: the great and terrible Wizard of Oz.

Like Uriah Heep, that crawling embodiment of false humility, BWE haunted the periphery of the Riviera, her shadow a constant, unwelcome guest. Each pronouncement from the Wizard, each flick of his theatrical wrist, was met with her fervent, unsettling adoration. “Oh, most wondrous Oz,” she would croon, her voice a wheezing whisper, “your brilliance blinds me, a humble speck in the dust of your magnificent eminence.” The Wizard, a man of smoke and mirrors, found himself perpetually slimed by her devotion, recoiling inwardly at her damp palms and the unwavering, unsettling gleam in her wide, unblinking eyes. He’d force a strained smile, a practiced gesture of benevolence that never quite reached his own authentic countenance.

Her dwelling, a dilapidated hovel sinking into the mire, was a testament to her singular focus. Scraps of emerald fabric, pilfered or bartered for with dubious trinkets, adorned the rotting walls like pathetic devotional offerings. She hoarded every discarded pronouncement from the Wizard, every stray spark from his grand pyrotechnic show, as holy relics. Her days were spent in a grotesque pantomime of service, offering bombastic bumper sticker slogans or suspiciously dubious conspiracy theories to any unfortunate soul venturing near the Riviera, all the while proclaiming her utter unworthiness compared to the glorious Oz.

But beneath the veneer of simpering devotion, a darker current stirred. As Uriah Heep’s false humility masked a gnawing ambition, so too did BWE’s obsession curdle into a grandiose delusion. In the long, dreary evenings, amidst the croaking of unseen things in the swamp, a transformation would take hold. The stooped posture would straighten, the wheezing whisper would deepen into a resonant pronouncement. She would gaze into a cracked, tarnished mirror, not seeing the gaunt, damp reflection, but the fiery eyes of Isobel Gowdie, the Scottish witch who confessed to consorting with the Devil himself.

“I am she!” she would declare to the silent, dripping rafters. “The ancient power flows through my veins! I ride the winds, command the shadows, and the very beasts of the air tremble at my decree!”

And here, the parody took its most ludicrous turn. BWE genuinely believed she commanded a legion of flying monkeys. In her mind’s eye, they were a terrifying, disciplined force, executing her malevolent whims with ruthless efficiency. In reality, the flying monkeys, a ragtag bunch of mischievous creatures with a penchant for petty chaos, simply tolerated her pronouncements. They found a certain amusement in her self-importance and the opportunities her “commands” presented for causing minor mayhem. A market crash here, a stolen election there – they were chaos agents, and BWE, in her delusional grandeur, provided the perfect, self-unaware puppet master.

So, the Befuddled Witch of the East lived out her days in a grotesque ballet of misplaced adoration and self-aggrandizing fantasy. She simpered at the feet of a Wizard who wished her gone, and she issued imperious commands to a band of flying monkeys who merely indulged her for their own amusement. The bogs of DC remained damp, the Riviera remained oblivious to the true nature of its most devoted admirer, and the legend of the Befuddled Witch, a gothic absurdity woven from delusion and damp despair, continued to fester in the shadows. Her end, when it comes, will most likely be as anticlimactic as her life – a sudden, ignominious squashing, leaving behind only a pair of striped stockings and the lingering, unsettling echo of her fervent, misguided devotion.

Stay tuned… much more to come.

Onward through the fog… Rohlfie.