public library

This Land – Alabama

Ok, alright. According to some feedback received from early Hot Springs or Busk dispatches, travel blogs are a dime a dozen. People don’t want more words belaboring the obvious or redundant. Instead, some have suggested we try something compelling and original from these observations and meditations. And now, as we emerge from the 2024-25 deep freeze in balmy South Florida, it’s time to reboot HSoB along the southern coast in the heart of Dixie. After that, when Spring really takes off, we’ll travel up the Eastern Seaboard in the search of ghosts, poets, and visionaries.

Now, we sincerely apologize for those snoozy dispatches of Hot Springs or Busk Phases I, II, and III (West and Midwestern states). Once a better modus-operandi is developed, maybe we’ll revisit them. Seriously, WA, OR, and CA literally gave Rohlfie the creeps with NO due justice done to those feelings. Anyway, at least for now, the new angle is STATE NAME: Take a Walk on the Wild Side. We’re gonna string, like pearls, stories from each state, all the while honing and fine-tuning our voice. Boring is not allowed. “Ecstatic truth” is the aim. But as Werner Herzog has already shown, details might come in fuzzy or even somewhat inaccurate. As long as deeper truths are captured, the details can go to the Devil. And so…

Without further adieu, This Land: Alabama

We landed in Foley en-route to Mobile. Our boondocker‘s workflow required landing somewhere close to an urban center large enough for a Planet Fitness without frustrating traffic snarls, but small enough to function at a pace suitable for wayfaring senior citizens. Foley, AL is perfect! Less than 50 miles from Mobile with all necessary accommodations located along a single boulevard. Once settled and underway, we met some nice folks at the library and the nearby dog park.

And the stories… well…

For instance, this one fella, a sort of silver-haired gent told us he’d seen a Sasquatch stomping around Conecuh County. “A hairy beast hollerin’ and crossin’ roads like he’s late for supper,” he said. “Back in my day, we had ‘possums, maybe a bear. Now folks are scared,” he winked. “He’s prob’ly just lookin’ for a decent sweet potato pie.”

I asked him if anyone had a clear photo to be sure it wasn’t just Florida Man paying a visit to some Alabama relatives. “No sah,” he said giving his glasses a wipe-down. “But my neighbors smartass teenager created a deep fake of the one they think they saw.” He handed me a photo from his wallet. “I know there’s probably no real bigfoot, but it gives the boys at the donut shop something to gossip about.” He slipped the photo back into his wallet, took off his hat, and wiped his forehead with a handkerchief.

“Then there’s them boomin’ noises,” he said. “Like the sky’s got the hiccups.” He tried to describe the scope of his neighbors’ concern. “Mountain Brook to Arab, everyone’s hearin’ it. Folks tweetin’ James Spann like he’s got the answers to the universe.” He paused a moment to take a tennis ball out of his dog’s mouth and throw it several yards. “Even NASA’s scratchin’ their heads. They say they don’t know. Don’t know! Used to be, if you didn’t know somethin’, you’d just say, ‘Must be thunder.’ Now, it’s a mystery for the ages.”

He Lives!
Everything Changes

“And speakin’ of mysteries,” he continued. “This lawyer fella got tossed from his own church. On Easter! Over a court order.” He flashed a wide-eyed expression of surprise. “Seems the Lord’s house ain’t a sanctuary from ex-wives or security guards. Banned from all 15 campuses! That’s a powerful ban, ain’t it?” I nodded. “Used to be, church was for repentin’. Now, it’s for keepin’ folks out.” I agreed, “I guess that’s taking restraining order to a new level,” i said.

I took a sip of coffee and decided to stay with this interesting fellow a while longer. He went on entertaining his energetic beagle with the ball, silent for a moment. After a brief tussle with the dog, he threw the ball and cleared his throat. “Then there’s the fella mauled by a trained emotional support dog.” With a furrowed brow he said. “On a plane!” After a brief pause he continued, “now, i knew these animals were becoming more common at airports. But don’t they have certain standards for training before venturing out there in the world with a mission of calming some poor soul’s jangled nerves?” I shrugged. “Used to be,” he said, “a dog was for huntin’ or guardin’. Now, they’re givin’ folks emotional support and bitin’ peoples’ faces off?” “Wa-what?” I asked, finally waking up to the implications. “This emotional support dog mauled another passenger on the plane?” “Yup,” he replied. “And Delta’s got to deal with it. Times have changed, i reckon,” he said with a grimace. “That’s certainly one way to put it.” i said.

“And speaking of wild animals,” he said. “This Cullman woman, stompin’ through a windshield. Did you see that computer video? They tell me these short video clips spread like viruses.” “Yes,” i said. “That lady is a stone cold badass.” He gave me a quizzical look and said, “ok, well, she said she prayed about it, knew it was wrong, and did it anyway.” “You don’t say,” i mused with a chuckle. “That’s… that’s a new level of logic, ain’t it? Used to be, prayin’ was for askin’ for forgiveness after you did somethin’ foolish. Now, it’s a post-action justification.” I laughed so hard i had to wipe a tear from the corner of my eye. “She might have started a trend,” i said.

The beagle was finally tired of chasing the ball and started doing that circle dance that generally comes before plopping down for a doggy break. “Lordy Lord, what a world.” my new companion said. “It’s enough to make a ghost shake his head. Used to be, life was simple. Now, it’s Sasquatch, mysterious booming, church bans, and emotional support attack dogs. I reckon i’ll just keep on keepin’ on and watchin’ the world go round with ol’ Sparky.”

I thanked him for the conversation, we bid fare well, and went our separate ways. He and Sparky to their home. Rohlfie, Ronnie Hays, and i back to good ‘ol Rocinante for some breakfast gruel before heading to the library to get all of this down while it was fresh in the ‘ol memory banks. Next stop, Mississippi!

Onward through the fog… RH

In Conecuh County…
They have a Sasquatch…
Mountain Brook booms…
When sky gods hiccup…
Best be kind in…
Romantic breakups…
Alabama girls will…
Kick your glass!

Hot Springs or Busk: Chapter XVII (ready or not)

“What we know is a drop…
What we don’t know is the ocean.” ~ Isaac Newton

I tried… i really tried. Or maybe i’m adjusting to life’s inevitable curveballs scrambling the perfect symmetry of my best laid plan. You know, the one where i, knight-errant in a rolling studio apartment christened Rocinante, traversing the 48 contiguous states. The noble quest? To get my arms around the “fibrillating heart of our divided nation“. To get these insights from whomever in these sleepy college towns might be willing to spend five minutes with a weirdo packing a guitar and a head full of questions.

But fate, that fickle wench, had other plans. First, it was the librarians. Pale, overworked automatons shuffling through Dewey decimals, with nary a moment to spare for philosophical pontificating on state mottos. Was it time constraints, or a gut-wrenching fear of my “political agenda”? And don’t get me started on the chilling possibility that the modern anti-intellectualism plague has seeped its tendrils into the heartland’s libraries! The horror! I quickly concluded my approach was to blame. I mean, c’mon, what the hell is this all about?

Then came the body blows: Rocinante’s innards failing like a politician’s promise, and a Utah road pebble punching a hole in our windshield. The Hot Springs or Busk mission – a symphony of soaking in geothermal glory and serenading the masses for petty cash – lay in tatters. Sure, the Dakotas and Wyoming soothed my travel-weary soul with their natural mineral baths, but that dream’s on hold till the autumn chill sets in. And busking? That one never even sprouted wings. Turns out, maintaining personal hygiene on the road, wrestling with writer’s block, acquiring provisions, and figuring out where to sleep takes up most of a day.

But here’s the kicker, loopers. The world’s gone batty, and burying my head in the sand just ain’t gonna cut it anymore. “Project 2025” leaked like a sieve, painting a dystopian portrait of a second Trumpian reign that’d make Orwell blush. And don’t even get me started on the assassination attempt – the twisted pandora’s box exposing an unholy alliance of theocratic nutjobs, techie snake-oil salesmen, and white-bread racists all marching in lockstep toward MAGA-land.

This, loopers, is where Rocinante and i draw a line in the sand. It’s time to stand up, or at least yell obscenities at the oncoming storm, in defense of the freaking democratic republic our forefathers sweat blood to build. This ain’t some pre-packaged travelogue anymore, folks. This is a gonzo odyssey hurtling towards a cliffhanger ending November, 2024, and the stakes couldn’t be higher.

Let me establish some bona fides, loopers. It was 1993, the Jurassic period of the internet, when i, a late-blooming recently reformed rock-n-roll wannabe made his way to the meticulously landscaped limestone campus of Fort Hays State University. At this frontier outpost, i stumbled upon a great tech-fueled human awakening. The era, mind you, when dial-up modems whined their mating calls, and the internet itself resided in a fluorescent-lit dungeon called the “computing center” – a place that would make a Kafka setting look like some cheerful dentist’s waiting room.

There, on a terminal that resembled a torture device from a B-movie, i logged onto a primordial internet, a MUD (multi-user dungeon) teeming with virtual spelunkers from across the globe. It was like falling into a rabbit hole populated by Aussies, Brits, and basement-dwelling samurai – a world where geography dissolved like a bad acid trip.

Intrigued (and maybe a little scared), i embarked on a quest to understand this beast. I traded my dog-eared textbooks for a master’s degree in the field of “communication studies,” focusing on the particular learning styles of these early internet adopters. As the web blossomed (or maybe more accurately, sprouted like a particularly virulent fungus), so did my career. I landed in academia, a Don Quixote tilting at windmills of ignorance, determined to share this newfound curiosity.

Ah, but this paradise wasn’t built for everyone. Back then, computing power was the exclusive domain of pocket-protected engineers and those with the social graces of an abacus. The average digital apprentice, like myself, had two options: learn the arcane language of coding, a feat akin to deciphering ancient Sumerian, or grovel before the high priests of computer science. And for what reward? The dubious honor of navigating a buggy wasteland of productivity tools resembling a drunken Rube Goldberg contraption. The “graphical user interface” revolution, if you can call it that, was just another layer of lipstick on this technological pig.

Before the internet, navigating the marketplace of ideas meant a pilgrimage to the library, that mausoleum of knowledge and arcanery. You either wrestled with the Dewey Decimal System, a logic puzzle designed by Satan himself, or relied on the benevolence of the librarians, those gatekeepers of the pulp-n-ink media. The contrast between the Dark Ages of ’78 and the digital supernova of 2024 is enough to make your head spin.

Now, we drown in a tsunami of technological pronouncements – quantum computing, designer DNA, the ever-present threat of Skynet. But fear not, loopers, for even as we stand on the precipice of a technological singularity, nearly half the population still believes the Earth is flat and six thousand years old. We are a nation of flickering attention spans, perpetually distracted by the digital fireflies flitting across our screens – a society of shuffling zombies, hypnotized by the glow of our handheld gods, and there will be a reckoning… oh yea.

Look, i’m no Luddite. Here i am, hunched over a keyboard in the merciful silence of the library, instead of downing near-beer and swapping healthcare stories at the Bingo Hall. The digital siren song is hard to resist. But where’s the master plan in all this? Who’s steering this chrome chariot hurtling towards who-knows-where? It feels like a rigged game, doesn’t it? The puppet masters, these billionaire Übermenschen, dangle their techno-baubles in front of us, content to keep the masses hypnotized. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe it’s just economics, not some grand conspiracy. After all, we don’t wanna give spoiled, marginally-competent “self-made” trust-fund babies too much credit, right?

Anyway, we stand at a crossroads, teetering on the edge of a technological revolution. The chaos around us is a symptom of our collective unpreparedness. Let’s arm ourselves with knowledge, not just the latest gadgets. The future is ours to shape, but only if we wrest control from the digital puppeteers and use this power wisely. After all, wouldn’t you rather be the architect than another brick in the wall?

Either way, we’re in a heap of trouble. The gap between the haves and have-nots is wider than the Grand Canyon on a bad acid trip. We’re hurtling towards a technological future with all the grace of a drunken walrus on roller skates. What’s the answer? Jeezus! Who knows…? If i had the answers my dispatches wouldn’t live in an obscure blog no more discernable than a needle in the galaxy of obscurity. I’d be one of the puppet masters, right? There would be publicists, and media tours, and wardrobe people, personal trainers, financial advisors, domestic services staff, etc..

So, assuming my guess is as good as anyone with comparable bona fides, consider this: What if we were to pump our educational systems full of digital steroids, create a generation of media-savvy citizens who can think critically, not just parrot the latest pronouncements from Silicon Valley snake-oil salesmen? Also… maybe leave the religious dogma to Sunday schools.

Whatever we decide to do, it’s time to stop worshipping false idols (as seen in the 10 Commandments) and reclaim our rightful place as that shining pluralistic city on the hill. Let’s stop vilifying intelligence, but celebrate it. From there, maybe we really CAN … Make Humanity Great Again.

Ok… enough for now. Stay tuned for a reverse “red-pill” treatment… we’ll flip the whole “Cathedral” of the neo-liberal “deep-state” on it’s head. We’ll restate The Who’s pithy observation from their anthem, Won’t Get Fooled Again…

“Meet the new boss… same as the old boss.” ~ PT

Be well…
Be sane…
Good luck…
Pay it forward…

Onward through the fog… R.H.